A Mom's Life

I love spring cleaning. No, not the spring cleaning that involves washing windows, scrubbing the crisper in the refrigerator or raking the lawn. I like cleaning out closets and reorganizing stuff. One of my favorite places to shop is the Container Store. I could walk up and down the aisles for hours, browsing and drooling over the multitude of storage options. I'll confess that more than one indulgent summer afternoon has been spent swinging in the hammock, flipping through a Pottery Barn magazine, imagining what I would put in the wicker baskets and canvas boxes or thinking about what note I might write on the chalkboard kitchen storage organizer. Oh, how much lovelier my belongings would be if only they were nicely and neatly organized in color coordinated, easy to tote but sturdy enough to be furniture, storage containers. If I'm having a stressful day I find that at the root of the problem is an area of the house that needs to be organized. While daunting at first, th...

If I found a bottle and in it happened to be a genie, my first wish would be for Andy to experience pregnancy and childbirth. The first time around I credited ignorance for Andy's inability to empathize with me. How or why would anyone understand the trials and tribulations of creating and growing a human if you've never been around a pregnant woman or been one yourself? While Andy can now speak volumes about being a witness to childbirth and an active member of a parenting team, unfortunately, he still has absolutely no clue what it is like to "take the ball and run with it" when it comes to the nine months leading up to a baby's birth. I always say that a couple can talk all they want about when is the right time to have a baby but come on, the woman has the power to seal the deal and with that power starts the hard work. She really decides (or her body decides) when the magic moment should occur. The poor, naive man spends maybe five minutes doing his part an...

There are many preparations to be made when a family is expecting its first baby. There's all the reading that must be done like What to Expect When Expecting, the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and The Expectant Dad's Guide to Pregnancy. There are the websites to sign up for to track the growth of mom and baby and to compare the size of the baby to various vegetables. There are the monthly, then bi-weekly, visits to the doctor or midwife that must be attended by the couple. There are ultrasounds and glucose tests and genetic tests and parenting, labor and breastfeeding classes. Lamaze, yoga and prenatal massage are all options that become requirements as not to miss out on anything that might later impact the birth of the baby. And let's not forget the shopping! Hours must be spent online or in-store searching Babies 'R Us for the perfect matching crib, changing table and glider. Websites must be consulted to determine the safest and cutest stroller/car seat combo ...

At some point in my life, a few years back, I stopped waiting for my future and starting living in the here and now. And some time during this period I started getting old. I once heard the morbid statement that a person is dying from the moment they are born. I suppose this is true but during our childhood we are too busy growing and learning to realize that our growth and accomplishments are a sign that we are one day closer to our last. In our late teens and twenties we are just surviving and can hardly think toward the future to worry about much beyond how to function as an adult in society. Having children ages us or at least makes us aware of our age, for many reasons. The physical act of producing a child made my body age. Before Caroline's conception I was an agile, active twenty-something who could still perform the same gymnastics tricks I had when I was 15. After carrying and delivering her, my back knotted up, I could barely bend over to change her diaper and had ...

I'm a girls' girl. I don't mean a girly girl. I don't know how to wear make up and don't shop weekly to keep up with the latest fashions. I'm not afraid to get dirt under my nails and I have a dirty and sarcastic sense of humor that guys appreciate more than women. Yet, I witnessed a certain type of gender dynamic early in my life and decided that women get the short end of the stick. As a fellow female I decided it would be my job to support and defend all the amazing things that women do and don't get credit for. It was natural choice for me to attend an all-women's college where men (and mostly my sexual dynamic with them) could not interfere in my education and where I could develop strong, lasting relationships with, of course, more powerful and amazing women. I've continued, through my life, to make many wonderful friends, most of them female. But my sexual orientation has aligned me to spend the rest of my life side-by-side with none other th...

I love to relax. I'm good at it. I have been finding my inner peace through yoga and a version of meditation for years now. I can sit in a beach chair, dangling my toes in the waves, for hours. Give me a good book and a hammock and I'll cancel the rest of my plans for the day. I am never that person at work who has left over vacation days. Believe it or not, my colleagues have this problem and they have been told that they will lose a big chunk of vacation days if not used by July. In an effort to encourage employees to use their time off, the powers that be invited a local therapist to offer a workshop about the importance of vacation. I went to the workshop because I like to hear other people speak my opinion and I smiled as she discussed the importance of stepping away from work and life as a method for reflection. We are better parents, friends and colleagues if we remove ourselves from the grind and get a little perspective. She referenced a book, "Working wit...

When you are a mom you should avoid math, especially budgets. If you are a mom you should not sit down with a pen, paper and calculator and should avoid Microsoft Excel entirely. Because if you do, you'll start realizing that being a mom doesn't equate to making a lot of money. It equals spending a lot of money and this may be depressing. When we started paying daycare bills for Caroline we quietly wrote the checks and accepted the fact that the price for someone else caring for our little bundle of joy would be the same as our mortgage. We added it to the list of new expenses that come with having a child, from diapers and formula, fancy car seats and strollers. We traded in ebay purchases and Pottery Barn splurges for Robeez and Hannah Anderson outfits that would last 2-3 months. And although my paycheck had diminished, there was still enough in the bank account each week to help contribute to the bottom line. Now that our second bundle of joy is on the way, we've lo...