Skip to main content

Hi. I'm Caroline's Mom.

Today was just another blizzard condition day in UpState New York. I'm pretty sure I saw Puxatawney Phil roadside building a snowman as we crawled home from work. As the wind shield wipers creaked rhythmically back and forth, we listened to NPR's "Frrrressh Air!"-today's broadcast an interview with a writer and his son who is a recovering meth-amphetamine addict.

During one part of the interview the father described a brain aneurysm he had amidst his son's drug addiction. While he could not remember his own name, he repeatedly asked the nurses to call his son to make sure he was ok. When he could remember almost nothing about himself and his life, this father knew was he was a parent and his child needed him. When all he had was pure instinct, his inner parent became more prominent than his own identity.

If I meet a new daycare staff member I often skip my name entirely and introduce myself as "Caroline's mom". Why do I need a name when I can just be Mom? Hobbies, friendships, obligations and work fall between the cracks of diaper-changing, cheerleading, food-making, bath tub giving and nose blowing. At one time I was so proud to be a runner, to finish a race or to add an extra mile to a jog. I'd brag to the guys at work about my weekly mileage. Today at work I bragged (to a guy, shame on me!) about Caroline's monumental first steps, "From 2 to 14 in the hour before bedtime!"

A lunch date to catch up with a good friend is now a rushed tell-me-everything-in-15-minutes while continually picking up the tossed creamers, jellies and utensils and changing between "Uh-huh, oh, really, that happened at work? How interesting. " and "You hungry? You eat. All done?"

Remember that friend who never returned your calls during the first six months of a new relationship? The friend who couldn't go anywhere in public without bringing the boyfriend along and after a while, stopped going out entirely and opted for movie nights in on the couch? They now have a name for this, Bennifer, thanks to a former celebrity couple. I am that friend. My identity as Melissa does not exist. I am Carolissa. Melissaline.

I'll be back. I know the honeymoon period of parenting will end and Melissa the friend, the colleague, and maybe even the runner, will return. I will be able to tear myself away from motherhood for long enough to do something just for me. But I guarantee you, when I'm out on that lunch date with a friend, I'll be the first to turn my head in the direction of any child's voice in the room who calls out for her "Mommy".

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Somebody Who Matters

At first glance, one may not think that my mom and I are alike. Moe is shy and reserved. She's calm and thoughtful. She's a good listener and keeps things to herself. She's grounded and sensible. She's practical. You may be laughing now if you know me. I'm loud and outspoken. I'm dramatic and irrational. I talk too much and share too much. My head is often in the clouds and I lack common sense. I 'm a dreamer. How did this kid come from that mom? Well, if you know me, you also know that my mom has had the greatest impact on me and that we are actually very much alike. For example, Moe isn't really shy or reserved. She's just waiting for the right time to tell you what she thinks and you're going to hear it whether or not you like it. She uses the F-bomb freely, and sometimes inappropriately. In her own right, she is a feminist. She's a loyal friend. She's the family organizer. She has a quirky sense of humor and knows not to take hersel...
Post a Comment
Read more

Facebook Reality Check

I am a big facebook user. No, I don't play Farmville or Candy Crush Saga but I spend at least 15 minutes on the site daily. I have read many articles about how facebook kills one's self esteem because people use the site to boast and brag about their awesome lives, which in turn makes others feel badly about their own. We all know that facebook is a slice of one's life or maybe a projection of the life they want to live. Anybody who isn't a fool should realize that. As a frequent facebooker and hardcore extrovert, with a lack of a strong filter, I find this whole situation to be a dilemma. What is worse, reading about someone's awesome day and seeing a picture of how fabulous they looked during their awesome day, or reading about their terrible day, looking at angry political memes, or rants about the bad customer service they received? Do you want to read about how someone had the best night ever with their bestest buds (you not included) or that they have been ...
1 comment
Read more

Tips for Transitioning to Back-To-School Time

Transitions can be hard for kids with special needs, making the back-to-school schedule particularly challenging for them and their families. Here are some tips for making that transition, and first few months of the fall, easier for everyone. Map out a Schedule and Reduce Anxiety While no kid wants to start talking about going back to school when he or she is still enjoying their summer vacation, it’s important to reduce anxiety by starting to talk about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like. While this could mean creating a visual schedule or developing a calendar, it’s important to talk with your child about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like, including wake up time, what happens during the day, after school, right up until bedtime. Developing a schedule can hopefully alleviate some of your child's stress about what to expect during the transition and can also open up a dialogue for what questions and concerns your child has. Have your chil...
Post a Comment
Read more