A Mom's Life

The first time, mom-to-be: I dedicate these paragraphs to you. Your energy, your hopes and dreams. Your time. Time to read. Time to poop and pee by yourself. Your time to dress cutely and plan your nursery. Those were the days, my friend. Being pregnant for the first time is full of expectations. My day job makes me an expert in "expectations management" and so it's easy for me to get on my soap box and preach about mommy labor, delivery and those first precious weeks. As I write this I'm standing on that box, but it's not a soap box, it's a training potty. That small, plastic box that my little Caroline will learn about and poop and pee around and near (but not in, at least for some time). My childhood best friend is pregnant and she has some really strong opinions about the whole labor through motherhood process. Most of it I get, even if they were not my choices or reality. Home birth, no drugs, no circumcision, breast-feeding for as long as po...

I have a slight anxiety about dying. It started a few years ago, mostly when I drove to work in the morning. I'd go from singing along to the radio, to contemplating the best place to find a parking spot to being painfully stricken with the thought that someday I'm going to die. It could be in five minutes or 50 years, but it's going to happen and what's it going to be like? Will I be scared? Will I know? Will it hurt? Will I be bored? My breath shortened and usually I'd start to cry and then the thought would be gone and I'd be back to the parking space search. I confessed the panic attacks to a friend in an email and her reply was, "You should be glad you have time to worry about this. The rest of us are worried about money, jobs and what the hell to do with our lives, let alone what to do when it's over." Not the warm, fuzzy support email I wanted, but nevertheless, she had a good point. The attacks started once I felt secure in life...

By now we've all heard that society is fighting biology. The prime child-bearing age for women is around 22 years old. Women are waiting until their mid to late thirties to start families but not without cost. It is harder to get pregnant and miscarriages and birth defects are higher. Do we sacrifice the health of our children and ourselves by waiting for the right time? College, career, travel and financial stability are all prerequisites to motherhood. I was 28 when I had Caroline and was the first of my friends to become a parent. My mother was 22 when she had my brother. I can't even imagine what life as a mother and wife would have been like for me when I was 22. Actually, I had to live at home for 3 months when I was that age in order to get my life together, apply to graduate school and save money enough to put a deposit down for an apartment and buy a car. Women in their thirties are also choosing to stay home with their children. With a degree, if not two, un...