Skip to main content

This is My Blog.

Mine. Ownership and possession are both powerful concepts in childhood development. I can't actually remember when Caroline started declaring objects to be of her possession but lately she spends much of her time informing me about which items in our house are hers. It's not just naming her surroundings: dolly, kitty, blankie. It's announcing personal possession over them. My dolly. My kitty. My blankie. This idea of ownership is already deeply rooted in her personality. She says "mine" with a sense of pride and with passion. Caroline clearly associates people, places and things with herself as well as her ability to care for, play with, don affection upon or just hoard them all in her stroller.

With this deep rooted sense of possession comes jealousy and paranoia. The cats are not to be trusted. When we cuddle in the morning and one of the cats jumps on the bed to greet us, Caroline quickly grabs her lovey and holds it close to her face. "MINE! MINE BEAN," she firmly warns. Friends are also not to be trusted. When we drop Caroline off at daycare, several children run over to get a hug from the newest adult in the room. "No, Eli. My mommy," again, Caroline warns, as she pushes the toddler off of my knee to make room just for her.

She'll go to great lengths to gain ownership of an object of desire, even if it was never hers to begin with. She's bitten and been bit. She's pushed down and been knocked over. She's pulled hair and had hers pulled in return. Mine! Mine! Mine! Only to play with the toy for a few minutes before the burning immediacy of ownership fades as she spies a child with another object to posses.

I'd like to say as an adult this powerful feeling goes away as we learn to master the art of sharing. I honestly believe it only gets worse. Some consider hoarding a mental illness. And we've all heard about people being killed over a pair of sneakers. If only I could go up to the woman flirting with my spouse at a party, knock her down, bite her arm and declare, "My HUSBAND!"

Or what about at work, when your boss mistakes your idea to be that of the annoying guy in the cubicle next to yours (who never seems to speak up and correct your boss)? Wouldn't it be great to stand on the meeting table, give the guy's hair a good tug and remind them all that the amazing idea was "MINE!"

We can only dream of acting out our possessive fantasies, for in reality, if we had stood on the table like a crazed ape, we would later be sitting in our boss' office, holding our packed box of personal belongings, being told we were being let go because we are not a team player, the adult phrase for the childhood term we've heard so many times before: that we can not share.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Somebody Who Matters

At first glance, one may not think that my mom and I are alike. Moe is shy and reserved. She's calm and thoughtful. She's a good listener and keeps things to herself. She's grounded and sensible. She's practical. You may be laughing now if you know me. I'm loud and outspoken. I'm dramatic and irrational. I talk too much and share too much. My head is often in the clouds and I lack common sense. I 'm a dreamer. How did this kid come from that mom? Well, if you know me, you also know that my mom has had the greatest impact on me and that we are actually very much alike. For example, Moe isn't really shy or reserved. She's just waiting for the right time to tell you what she thinks and you're going to hear it whether or not you like it. She uses the F-bomb freely, and sometimes inappropriately. In her own right, she is a feminist. She's a loyal friend. She's the family organizer. She has a quirky sense of humor and knows not to take hersel...
Post a Comment
Read more

Facebook Reality Check

I am a big facebook user. No, I don't play Farmville or Candy Crush Saga but I spend at least 15 minutes on the site daily. I have read many articles about how facebook kills one's self esteem because people use the site to boast and brag about their awesome lives, which in turn makes others feel badly about their own. We all know that facebook is a slice of one's life or maybe a projection of the life they want to live. Anybody who isn't a fool should realize that. As a frequent facebooker and hardcore extrovert, with a lack of a strong filter, I find this whole situation to be a dilemma. What is worse, reading about someone's awesome day and seeing a picture of how fabulous they looked during their awesome day, or reading about their terrible day, looking at angry political memes, or rants about the bad customer service they received? Do you want to read about how someone had the best night ever with their bestest buds (you not included) or that they have been ...
1 comment
Read more

Tips for Transitioning to Back-To-School Time

Transitions can be hard for kids with special needs, making the back-to-school schedule particularly challenging for them and their families. Here are some tips for making that transition, and first few months of the fall, easier for everyone. Map out a Schedule and Reduce Anxiety While no kid wants to start talking about going back to school when he or she is still enjoying their summer vacation, it’s important to reduce anxiety by starting to talk about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like. While this could mean creating a visual schedule or developing a calendar, it’s important to talk with your child about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like, including wake up time, what happens during the day, after school, right up until bedtime. Developing a schedule can hopefully alleviate some of your child's stress about what to expect during the transition and can also open up a dialogue for what questions and concerns your child has. Have your chil...
Post a Comment
Read more