Skip to main content

It Takes a Village

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, I'm certain that it is taking a village to raise me. On the eve of Mother's Day, I'd like to reflect on the many people who have mothered (or parented)me over the last 3 decades. Many blogs, including my most recent, sing the praises of my Moe, my numero uno. Second in command is, of course, Andy, who took the baton from my mom 10 years ago. Then, there are all the oher people over the course of time, from my grandmother, my many aunts, uncles, and cousins, my childhood friends' parents, my old boss (he always said he was a big brother but we called him Dad anyway), my college friends, in particular Smitty, who has watched out for me for a long time, and all of my current mom friends who support me daily.

There are a few friends in particular, who ironically don't have kids of their own yet, who have done the most extensive parenting of me: Sara D and Teresa. Teresa, my oldest friend in Cooperstown, has fed me, cheered me up and on, given me honest advice, helped me cook a decent meal, cleaned my house, cared for my children,and stood by side while I birthed one of them. When I am with Teresa, I get that same feeling as when I'm with my mom or Andy; she just makes me feel at ease and at home.

Then there's Sara D. My kids think she is a family member. They ask if she has the same last name as we do. When we get home at the end of the day, they look around for her and call out her name if they don't see her. She's a little bit sister to me, a little bit spouse (she is around so much when Andy travels that Caroline assumes she is his substitute), and a little bit mom. From helping me make dinner, bathing the kids, or changing the smoke alarm, when in need, I call Sara D.

The last two people I'd like to mention are Andy's parents, Deborah and Karl. Sadly for them, they didn't plan on getting another kid when Andy chose me as his partner, but there I was. I was rough around the edges, with a loud mouth and an attitude, but they accepted me anyway. How can I not love Andy's parents? He is a perfect combination of the two of them. Like his mom, Andy is strong willed, passionate, loyal, and anal retentive. (I mean that in the most loving way!) He's a good businessman, has a soft interior under his hard exterior, and a kind, loving manner with our girls, as does his dad. He is smart, helpful, caring and hard working- just like both of them.

I have come to rely on Deborah and Karl for advice of all kinds, from caring for the kids, navigating marriage, inter-personal relationships, and career and financial guidance. Last year, they were able to spend a lot of time visiting us and have not been able to do this this year. Their presence is greatly missed. On a bad day with Andy, the kind of day when I imagine throwing his clothes, chachkis, and his ass, out of the house, I think, "Ah, but I'd miss his parents too much!" I thank them deeply for taking me in, and considering me part of their family.

So, happy Mother's Day to all of you- thank YOU friends and family of past, present and future, for taking care of me and for putting up with me! I love you all dearly.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Somebody Who Matters

At first glance, one may not think that my mom and I are alike. Moe is shy and reserved. She's calm and thoughtful. She's a good listener and keeps things to herself. She's grounded and sensible. She's practical. You may be laughing now if you know me. I'm loud and outspoken. I'm dramatic and irrational. I talk too much and share too much. My head is often in the clouds and I lack common sense. I 'm a dreamer. How did this kid come from that mom? Well, if you know me, you also know that my mom has had the greatest impact on me and that we are actually very much alike. For example, Moe isn't really shy or reserved. She's just waiting for the right time to tell you what she thinks and you're going to hear it whether or not you like it. She uses the F-bomb freely, and sometimes inappropriately. In her own right, she is a feminist. She's a loyal friend. She's the family organizer. She has a quirky sense of humor and knows not to take hersel...
Post a Comment
Read more

Reflections on Summer with the Girls

I've been thinking all week long about how to summarize my summer home with the girls. For me, one who is never short on words, I just can't quite figure out how to explain the last eight weeks.A poem, or two, perhaps? How quickly work fades/When two little faces smile./Can I stop time, please? A real summer here,/Made for easy days at lake./Everyone is tan. Three mile point love./Makes winters here easier./Beautiful upstate. Caro is a fish./Handstands, front crawl, doggy paddle./So proud of my girl. Char pees on the pot/sometimes but not every time./She gets candy, yay! Oh Canada trip./Thank you to Grams and Opa./Memories for life. Visits with Nana./Got in the lake, yes she did!/So proud of her, too! Days spent with good friends./Playing is so tiring./Let it never end. Me: stay at home mom./Borderline insanity./Hardest job ever. In trying to draft something for this post, I looked back at my posts from last year at this time and I felt relief. Well, first, ...
1 comment
Read more

Tips for Transitioning to Back-To-School Time

Transitions can be hard for kids with special needs, making the back-to-school schedule particularly challenging for them and their families. Here are some tips for making that transition, and first few months of the fall, easier for everyone. Map out a Schedule and Reduce Anxiety While no kid wants to start talking about going back to school when he or she is still enjoying their summer vacation, it’s important to reduce anxiety by starting to talk about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like. While this could mean creating a visual schedule or developing a calendar, it’s important to talk with your child about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like, including wake up time, what happens during the day, after school, right up until bedtime. Developing a schedule can hopefully alleviate some of your child's stress about what to expect during the transition and can also open up a dialogue for what questions and concerns your child has. Have your chil...
Post a Comment
Read more