Skip to main content

That Crazy Person Running During the Polar Vortex Was Me.

People have been questioning my sanity this winter. I have chosen to continue running (and increase my mileage, to boot) regardless of the temperature or weather conditions. You can tell me all about how crazy I am or the potential harm that can come from my chosen winter activity. Thank you for your opinion but this is my blog so let me tell you why I am doing it.

I like the excitement of new sensations, like:

Hair freezing

Eyelashes freezing together

Wind whiplash

Exposing my naked bum to 0 degree weather while peeing behind a tree (Ok, so I totally don't even bother to go behind a tree. I pee on the side of the road.)

Being really sweaty, and then super cold, all at the same time

Frozen boogs

The burn of my fingers un-thawing after I'm done

The fear of seeing a snow plow up close and personal

The oyster-like feel of swallowing Gu

The odd warmness of coating your face in Vaseline.

The heavenliness of coffee post-run.

Here are some other general reasons why I like to run in the winter:

I like to be gross and when you run in the winter you have every right to be really gross. I can spit (or rather, spit all over myself), blow snot, and use my glove to both blow my nose and wipe after I pee.

There's nothing cooler than old-man shuffling up a "big hill", you know the kind that look like the road touches the clouds but in reality is just a little hill, and then looking back and feeling a sense of accomplishment that you just ran up a hill.

Drinking an orange slushy Gatorade you pulled from a snowbank, after running for 2 1/2 hours in 10 degree weather, feels kinda like winning the lottery, the Super Bowl, and Miss America all at the same time.

The quiet. Well, when I'm not talking to my running buddy.

Running in snow is like running in sand on the beach. Minus the snow, and cold, and pavement.

Wearing neon is so cool.

I burn extra calories while fighting my scarf that is trying to strangle me and while struggling to put my sweaty gloves back on after taking them off. (That was before I decided to keep them on while peeing.)

My body is mostly numb after a winter run, making an ice bath much easier.

There are fewer cars on the road.

When you see another runner you nod, acknowledging your mutual badassness.

And, finally...

Because I can. Because I don't need to stay home to nurse any babies or change any diapers. Because Andy can handle watching them for more than 10 minutes (by way of ipads and television). Because I am healthy and strong. Because I live in upstate and I am sick of complaining all winter about how cold it is and how we are going crazy being stuck inside. Because I feel like Rocky climbing the museums steps. Because I like the feeling of setting a goal and nobody stopping me from accomplishing it and nobody else caring whether or not I accomplish it.

Oh yeah, and because my running partner makes me. I bitch the whole time about how cold it is, how hilly it is, and how windy it is, but I have found, over the last few months, I really am starting to enjoy it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Spoiler Alert!

It's no big shock that I opened my mouth and got myself in trouble earlier this week. This time it was my virtual mouth, and we all know that can be the worst. Saying something stupid, online, is like spreading a highly contagious virus. Speaking of which, with all of my recent coughing and sneezing, I've been really good at spreading a germy virus around. I teach students to be social media savvy, and gosh darn it, I did so as recent as yesterday. I provide them with some rules to protect them from looking like a virtual ass, but low and behold, I fall victim to assiness every once in a while. How am I supposed to know every single rule in life, and particularly online? I'm just a simple human being, with a big mouth, who wants to over share! So, here's what went down, if you didn't get pissy pants over my FB faux pas. I watched the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead on Sunday night. Andy was in the can and I just needed to talk about the episode. I needed t
2 comments
Read more

LAX

Some people may think that Andy and I are "lax" parents. Our house isn't a free range farm by any means, although just throwing food on the ground, and letting the kids wander around and pick it up when they are hungry, sounds pretty enticing. It's true that we aren't the strictest parents and that, regularly, there is mutiny on the bounty and we are held hostage by little pirate people. The drill sergeant in our house is 3 feet tall and belts outs commands like, "Get me a drink!", "Turn on Netflix!", or "You will not wash my hair!" while wearing only a pullup, squinting her eyes, and pointing an accusatory finger in our direction. Our kids are often in charge. I'm not going to lie to you. The dog may also be in charge from time to time. That's just the way it goes. As more and more of our peers have a third child, we are, unfortunately, asked if we, too, plan to expand. Are these people insane in the membrane? Have they been
2 comments
Read more

Excuse Me! Can Somebody Help Me?

The economy is slow and there are less and less job opportunities out there. What type of skills does one need today to ride through this global crisis? Of course experience and a solid resume are a good start. But what are those key qualities every employer seeks? Quality work, dependability, strong written and verbal communication skills, honesty and integrity, to name a few. But what is that last line you always see in every job advertisement and frankly, should be in all personal ads as well? "Wanted. Sexy, athletic man. Must be able to cook, clean and sing lullabies. Background in massage a plus. Must be comfortable driving a mini van and carrying a diaper bag. Strong customer service skills required to cater to high-level client. " Why is it that we are nicer to everyone around us and rudest to our family members? It starts with our blood relatives. At home, as a child, I was a brat. As a teenager it never occurred to me that my caustic words hurt my mom'
2 comments
Read more