Skip to main content

You'll Thank Me for Not Cooking

Thanksgiving is the day of the year that reminds me how inadequate I really am. During the days leading up to the holiday, other people are rushing around making meal plans and buying groceries. I am doing whatever it is I do on any other day-which is not meal planning or grocery shopping.

Growing up, I'd watch the women of the family organize and orchestrate every holiday. They planned the meals, braved the insanity of food buying, set the table, and started prepping the food days in advance. The meal itself took less than a half an hour, of which they took part in maybe 15 minutes because they were busy adding last minute items to the table followed by clearing plates and getting coffee and dessert ready. They basically shoved their food down before concluding the day by washing and drying the dishes.

There are two reasons why I was witness to this process and not a participant. The first is because I was not invited in. My mom and grandma just wanted to get the job done. It wasn't a "teachable moment", a time to stop and enjoy the experience of making a meal. My mom cooked (and still cooks) because her family needed to eat not because it was a joyous time for her. Having a kid delaying the process was not an option. My job was always to set the table and dry silverware and well, that's still my job.

The other reason for not playing a bigger role in the holiday food experience is because I felt I should not have to do more than the guys were doing. I'm from a very stereotypical gender-role family. My grandma adamantly believed that women were to serve men. For years, I watched the men sit around the table, or the TV, while the women did the work. I quickly decided that the winners were the guys and I wanted to be in the winner's circle. I've stayed in that circle my whole life, shying away from the kitchen, and all of the mysteries involved with cooking. My connection to food is collecting recipes, enjoying photos of food, and well, eating.

And for that reason I have moved from the winner's circle to the being the Biggest Loser. I tried, sort of, when I got married and considered domesticated life. I could handle a stir fry or a salad. Yet, I like veggies and my mid-western spouse hates them. Stuffed squash or sauteed asparagus and Andy don't mesh well, just like Melissa and a good steak, or pancakes, eggs, chicken, pot roast, pizza, pasta, a crock pot meal, and any type of baked good. I have ruined even the most fail-proof recipes, almost so well that it is an art. Bad Art.

Having kids has both added pressure and furthered my status as a sucky chef. I have limited time to meal plan, shop, and pay attention in the kitchen. From raw eggs to rock hard pizza, I have left my family in the lurch many times. Thank goodness the girls love rolled up salami and cheese. I can roll meat and cheese.

Many people doubt my inadequacy, which is kind of them. It must mean that I am good at something else, giving them confidence in my abilities. Or they just can't imagine how someone can't bake chicken or scramble an egg.

It is true. I can't cook. Ask anyone who has made the sacrifice and digested something I have made. Put a camera in my kitchen, where you can witness me reading, and re-reading a recipe, measuring out ingredients, setting the timer, and serving something that looks like regurgitated dog food.

We are all born with gifts. Mine is not cooking. I have a lot of love to give, but it's not to a pot of chili or a souffle. So, on this day of thanks, I thank all of those who have fed me in the past, are feeding me today, and will continue giving me nourishment in the years to come. And you will thank me for asking Andy to make our contribution of the food for your next gathering.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Somebody Who Matters

At first glance, one may not think that my mom and I are alike. Moe is shy and reserved. She's calm and thoughtful. She's a good listener and keeps things to herself. She's grounded and sensible. She's practical. You may be laughing now if you know me. I'm loud and outspoken. I'm dramatic and irrational. I talk too much and share too much. My head is often in the clouds and I lack common sense. I 'm a dreamer. How did this kid come from that mom? Well, if you know me, you also know that my mom has had the greatest impact on me and that we are actually very much alike. For example, Moe isn't really shy or reserved. She's just waiting for the right time to tell you what she thinks and you're going to hear it whether or not you like it. She uses the F-bomb freely, and sometimes inappropriately. In her own right, she is a feminist. She's a loyal friend. She's the family organizer. She has a quirky sense of humor and knows not to take hersel...
Post a Comment
Read more

Facebook Reality Check

I am a big facebook user. No, I don't play Farmville or Candy Crush Saga but I spend at least 15 minutes on the site daily. I have read many articles about how facebook kills one's self esteem because people use the site to boast and brag about their awesome lives, which in turn makes others feel badly about their own. We all know that facebook is a slice of one's life or maybe a projection of the life they want to live. Anybody who isn't a fool should realize that. As a frequent facebooker and hardcore extrovert, with a lack of a strong filter, I find this whole situation to be a dilemma. What is worse, reading about someone's awesome day and seeing a picture of how fabulous they looked during their awesome day, or reading about their terrible day, looking at angry political memes, or rants about the bad customer service they received? Do you want to read about how someone had the best night ever with their bestest buds (you not included) or that they have been ...
1 comment
Read more

Tips for Transitioning to Back-To-School Time

Transitions can be hard for kids with special needs, making the back-to-school schedule particularly challenging for them and their families. Here are some tips for making that transition, and first few months of the fall, easier for everyone. Map out a Schedule and Reduce Anxiety While no kid wants to start talking about going back to school when he or she is still enjoying their summer vacation, it’s important to reduce anxiety by starting to talk about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like. While this could mean creating a visual schedule or developing a calendar, it’s important to talk with your child about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like, including wake up time, what happens during the day, after school, right up until bedtime. Developing a schedule can hopefully alleviate some of your child's stress about what to expect during the transition and can also open up a dialogue for what questions and concerns your child has. Have your chil...
Post a Comment
Read more