Skip to main content

Growing up Rosey

Sometimes, if someone were to ask me my age, I may quickly respond with a number between 18 and 22. And then I remember I'm now 31 and between me and my teenage years is a decade of the good, the bad and every growing pain in between.

My family loves to reminisce and like many, sees the past through rose colored glasses. We can all talk for hours about remember when. Most of us, who are lucky, may see the majority of their childhood this way. When life gets complicated or hard I wish that I could go back to being a kid. But I've forgotten just how hard being a kid was. One thing these days I don't worry about is who I am and what I stand for. I'm comfortable in my skin. I don't need to look like anybody else, do what anybody else likes or say what anybody else wants me to say. I have much to worry about these days but none of these are concerns on my list.

It's taken me a long time to feel secure with who I am. Life comes at me so fast I often forget that it took me 20 years to get to this point. Because I so often look at the past with the pretty, tinted lenses, I forget about the awkward and uncomfortable parts of growing up.

My cousin visited me this weekend and amidst running after little ones and ratting out our spouses for not doing the laundry, we fit in a few of those great childhood memories. After one story, her husband asked if she was really the diva-like, southern belle of our family's legend. The answer is yes, she was and that's who I loved as a kid. And I was the conforming non-conformist feminist. And she loved me for who I was. I grew up in liberal Massachusetts and she in the birthplace of Wal-Mart. She woudn't leave the house without makeup and I had purple hair. She had a drawl and I said wicked about things that weren't evil. We were products of our particular regions and while creating our own unique identities, we hid among the masses. For the last fifteen years we may have voted for opposing politicians and chosen different goals for ourselves but we have, more or less, gone through the same things at the same time and our growing pains have always kept us close.

Now we sit across from one another being our own unique selves, by-products of our upbringing and our hometowns. Yet, in our individuality we find ourselves very similar. Our political, religious and parenting views aren't all that different. Sure, we don't see eye to eye on everything but we have softened in our old age. As teens we spend so much time trying to be different like everyone else and as we get older we realize that while we are different, we are just like everyone else. And that's ok. My cousin and I are moms, sisters, friends, spouses, workers and cousins. We both recycle and shop at Wal-Mart and even if I were to take my off my glasses I would still see the two of us, now and then, with a happy, rose tint.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When The Team Won't Follow the Leader

I am aware that there are some critics out there who think that Andy and I are kind of loosey-goosey parents. Some think we don’t have enough rules or enough structure or discipline in our family. I’ve always felt really bad about this because, from one perspective, I can sort of see what they are talking about. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel guilty about being a shitty parent. My thoughts before passing out each night, exhausted, are about how I could’ve done a better job today and that I really hope I can do a better job the next day. Tomorrow is a new day to make rules and implement them, right? But I finally figured out what the missing link is for me and Andy and why we just can’t be the structured, rigid, disciplinarians that we “aspire“ to be. The other day I was picking up the kids. When we were driving home, my mind was racing with about 50 different things I needed to do at home and at work. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t really present in the moment with the kids even thoug...

Charlotte's Story

What can you do in seventeen minutes? Watch an episode of your favorite sitcom without commercials? Run two miles at a good clip? Eat a meal, or in Andy's case, microwave a meal and then eat it? Have a baby? Because that's what I did. You heard me right. I birthed a baby in seventeen minutes because I am a machine. I am a machine ! I am a baby birthing woman of steel. I am not much of a bragger and you may recall that I was never good and never bad at anything. I have no particular achievements to tout, academically, physically, professionally or otherwise except baby birthing. I'm really good at this and I'm pretty darn proud of it and I'd like to brag about it to you now. This is Charlotte's birth story. For the first four or five months of my pregnancy with Charlotte, most people forgot that I was even pregnant. This does happen to you with multiple pregnancies. I never forgot that I was pregnant. Morning sickness heart burn and frequent bathroom t...

The Perennial

Turning 40 is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I’m talking somebody standing at the top of the Empire State building with a wheelbarrow of bricks that they throw on top of me as I stand on the street. Every brick that catapults toward me has a different message: Your hair is getting gray. Your eyebrows are thinning. The skin on your neck and elbows is getting soft. Your hands are wrinkly. Your midsection is getting softer and rounder. You wear progressive glasses. You wake up and go to bed really early. You talk about things like vitamins and retirement. Your back hurts when you get out of bed and when you stand too long or when you sit too long. You think about taking Metamucil or Fiber One to keep you regular. You have one glass of wine and feel hung over the next day. Your kids talk about buying bras and getting their period. You should have stood up straight as a kid because now your neck and back are stuck in this awkward, turtle-like position, and it...