Skip to main content

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

I like to read those "Kids Say the Darnedest Things" at the very end of mom's magazines. They are hokey as hell, but, honestly, are pretty funny. Little minds are working so fast to understand the world around them and they haven't realized yet what is ok to say and what thoughts to keep to themselves. This can make for some really interesting and highly entertaining conversations.

Speaking of conversations, I can't believe that Caroline and I are able to now have them. When she was a baby I would talk to her and of course, receive no response other than a smile or a squeal. After a year we moved on to one word conversations.

"You hungry?"

"Mana (aka banana)"

I've been amazed at how quickly the one word conversations became two words and now have turned into complete sentences, punctuated with humor and emotion. Sometimes I know exactly where the words and humor come from, and I'm scared at how well she is listening. At other times I have no idea where she comes up with the ideas that come out of her mouth and can't help but think, "kids say the darnedest things!"

Here are some examples of recent conversations we've had or statements Caroline has made about life.

Caroline is playing in her room while I decorate. I drop a picture frame on the ground.
Caroline exclaims, "Mommy! Don't scare me like that!"

Caroline and I are getting dressed for bed and I act silly and do a little naked shimmy dance for her.
Caroline exclaims, "Mommy! Don't scare me like that!"

I'm in the bathroom getting ready for work. Caroline comes in and sits on the floor and says after much contemplation, "Opa has boobies."

Caroline goes poop in the potty, blows a kiss into the bowl and informs me, "My mommy turd and baby turd are going to Nana's house."

My mom, dad, Caroline and I are having lunch at Friendly's. Caroline, who had been paying little attention to our discussion announces, "Nana. You are an old MacDonald had a farm."

I'm driving the car to work and almost jump out of my seat when Caroline screams, "Mommy. Stop the car. Now! I want to drive!"

We are in the car, again, commuting from work and school and Caroline calls me name and I see a little arm up in the air, with one finger crooked toward the back window, "Mommy. Is somebody back there chasing me?"

Is it what she says that's so funny, her often dead pan delivery or just the fact that she is so cute and I'm mesmerized by whatever she says? I'm sure it's a little bit of each. For now, I'm going to enjoy what she says before she moves up to the next level of communication and observation that might involve asking me why I have a big nose, announcing that a non-pregnant woman has a baby in her belly or heaven forbid, exclaims a profane phrase commonly tossed around our household.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Spoiler Alert!

It's no big shock that I opened my mouth and got myself in trouble earlier this week. This time it was my virtual mouth, and we all know that can be the worst. Saying something stupid, online, is like spreading a highly contagious virus. Speaking of which, with all of my recent coughing and sneezing, I've been really good at spreading a germy virus around. I teach students to be social media savvy, and gosh darn it, I did so as recent as yesterday. I provide them with some rules to protect them from looking like a virtual ass, but low and behold, I fall victim to assiness every once in a while. How am I supposed to know every single rule in life, and particularly online? I'm just a simple human being, with a big mouth, who wants to over share! So, here's what went down, if you didn't get pissy pants over my FB faux pas. I watched the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead on Sunday night. Andy was in the can and I just needed to talk about the episode. I needed t

LAX

Some people may think that Andy and I are "lax" parents. Our house isn't a free range farm by any means, although just throwing food on the ground, and letting the kids wander around and pick it up when they are hungry, sounds pretty enticing. It's true that we aren't the strictest parents and that, regularly, there is mutiny on the bounty and we are held hostage by little pirate people. The drill sergeant in our house is 3 feet tall and belts outs commands like, "Get me a drink!", "Turn on Netflix!", or "You will not wash my hair!" while wearing only a pullup, squinting her eyes, and pointing an accusatory finger in our direction. Our kids are often in charge. I'm not going to lie to you. The dog may also be in charge from time to time. That's just the way it goes. As more and more of our peers have a third child, we are, unfortunately, asked if we, too, plan to expand. Are these people insane in the membrane? Have they been

Excuse Me! Can Somebody Help Me?

The economy is slow and there are less and less job opportunities out there. What type of skills does one need today to ride through this global crisis? Of course experience and a solid resume are a good start. But what are those key qualities every employer seeks? Quality work, dependability, strong written and verbal communication skills, honesty and integrity, to name a few. But what is that last line you always see in every job advertisement and frankly, should be in all personal ads as well? "Wanted. Sexy, athletic man. Must be able to cook, clean and sing lullabies. Background in massage a plus. Must be comfortable driving a mini van and carrying a diaper bag. Strong customer service skills required to cater to high-level client. " Why is it that we are nicer to everyone around us and rudest to our family members? It starts with our blood relatives. At home, as a child, I was a brat. As a teenager it never occurred to me that my caustic words hurt my mom'