Skip to main content

Fishing for Religion

Having a child makes you want to do everything the RIGHT way. I remember preparing like a New Year's Resolution for all of the good changes we were going to make after Caroline's birth: no more watching TV; no more swearing (I know- good bye F-bomb); no more fighting; eat more vegetables; drink more water; go to sleep earlier. Caroline was going to make us better people. It was just that easy.

Being the perfect role model for your child is a daunting responsibility. It's also impossible. We have learned to fudge some of our perfect parenting. Watch a little bit of TV until the baby figures out that TV exists; remind each other to stop swearing and drop as many F-bombs as you can on the car ride from work to daycare; discuss don't argue; sneak veggies onto pizza; drink a glass of water for every cup of coffee; at least sleeping on the couch is better than staying up late. We're on our way to being better.

F-bombs and veggies aside, our biggest role model decision is about religion. To be religious or not be religious: that is the question. I do not have an answer or a story, just questions. Can you share a religion with your child when you question its truths? Is it better to pick a church and then let your child decide whether she will continue with it into adulthood? Are you a "faker" if you join a church after slacking on going to one for years?

I like to think of myself as an "ethnic Catholic" because the rituals of Catholicism are ingrained in my upbringing. I find comfort in the memory of being religious but I'm not sure what the religion means to me anymore. I may also be a "cafeteria Catholic" because I want to pick and choose what I believe in, those ideas which best fit my lifestyle. Maybe I choose a scoop of Catholicism for the entree and a dallop of Buddhism for dessert and drink it all down via Quakerism. How do I explain that to a two year old?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Somebody Who Matters

At first glance, one may not think that my mom and I are alike. Moe is shy and reserved. She's calm and thoughtful. She's a good listener and keeps things to herself. She's grounded and sensible. She's practical. You may be laughing now if you know me. I'm loud and outspoken. I'm dramatic and irrational. I talk too much and share too much. My head is often in the clouds and I lack common sense. I 'm a dreamer. How did this kid come from that mom? Well, if you know me, you also know that my mom has had the greatest impact on me and that we are actually very much alike. For example, Moe isn't really shy or reserved. She's just waiting for the right time to tell you what she thinks and you're going to hear it whether or not you like it. She uses the F-bomb freely, and sometimes inappropriately. In her own right, she is a feminist. She's a loyal friend. She's the family organizer. She has a quirky sense of humor and knows not to take hersel...

Reflections on Summer with the Girls

I've been thinking all week long about how to summarize my summer home with the girls. For me, one who is never short on words, I just can't quite figure out how to explain the last eight weeks.A poem, or two, perhaps? How quickly work fades/When two little faces smile./Can I stop time, please? A real summer here,/Made for easy days at lake./Everyone is tan. Three mile point love./Makes winters here easier./Beautiful upstate. Caro is a fish./Handstands, front crawl, doggy paddle./So proud of my girl. Char pees on the pot/sometimes but not every time./She gets candy, yay! Oh Canada trip./Thank you to Grams and Opa./Memories for life. Visits with Nana./Got in the lake, yes she did!/So proud of her, too! Days spent with good friends./Playing is so tiring./Let it never end. Me: stay at home mom./Borderline insanity./Hardest job ever. In trying to draft something for this post, I looked back at my posts from last year at this time and I felt relief. Well, first, ...

Tips for Transitioning to Back-To-School Time

Transitions can be hard for kids with special needs, making the back-to-school schedule particularly challenging for them and their families. Here are some tips for making that transition, and first few months of the fall, easier for everyone. Map out a Schedule and Reduce Anxiety While no kid wants to start talking about going back to school when he or she is still enjoying their summer vacation, it’s important to reduce anxiety by starting to talk about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like. While this could mean creating a visual schedule or developing a calendar, it’s important to talk with your child about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like, including wake up time, what happens during the day, after school, right up until bedtime. Developing a schedule can hopefully alleviate some of your child's stress about what to expect during the transition and can also open up a dialogue for what questions and concerns your child has. Have your chil...