Posts

A Mother's Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful woman who lived in a beautiful house with a beautiful garden. One day, the woman learned that she was expecting a baby. As the weeks turned into months, the woman started feeling like she loved the baby inside of her more than anything she’d ever loved in the entire world. And like her garden that she tended, she knew instinctively how important it was to care for this baby inside of her and to love it, and cultivate it, and nourish it so that it would grow and thrive.In order to do all of this, the woman read books and blogs and talked to other moms about how she could grow and care for her baby. Every day, she sang to the baby so it would hear her voice. She ate organic food free of any GMO‘s or pesticides. She said no to offers of sushi and deli meat. She said good bye to her morning cup of coffee and her evening glass of wine. She drank bottled water because her house had old pipes. She filled her pantry with healthy nuts and multi-grain pas…

For 2018: Be More Buoyant

My mom gifted me an hour at a float spa for my birthday. I cashed in on the present this summer. If you’ve never been to a float spa before, it’s a really interesting experience. Considered an ancient mind/body relaxation strategy, modern float tanks or pods use 1,000 or so pounds of Epsom salt in about 10 inches of warm water. While styles of floating vary, most float spas are tubs or pods in an enclosed room with little to no light or outside stimulation. The temperature of the water, combined with the high volume of salt, and lack of stimulation, creates zero gravity weightlessness and the sensation of not knowing where your body ends and the water starts. Sounds pretty cool, right?Before my visit, I wasn't sure what to expect so I read all of the questions on the website FAQ page ahead of time and the spa attendant instructed me upon my arrival. She guided me to a small room where, once alone, I would strip down to nothing, shower off in a small shower, pop in ear plugs, and l…

Holiday Letters- in Two Versions!

I don’t know about you but I love a good holiday letter. Nothing sends me into a tailspin of self doubt and depression like reading the carefully crafted story of the highs and accomplishments of those in my life. As the letters flow in, alongside the photos of the beautiful smiling faces of my loved ones, I curl up under a warm blanket, look out at the bleak, gray winter skies and think: what the fu#k is wrong with me?We are so fortunate, due to modern technological advances, to be able to experience this self doubt an average of 20-50 times per day as we addictively scroll a variety of social media channels. Yet nothing truly confirms our own personal inadequacies like a yearly summary of others’ successes and happiness neatly packed in an 8 1/2 X 11 sheet of paper, folded in thirds and slipped into an envelope alongside a card collage of beach shots, matching sweaters and smiling, happy faces. I, too, have sent along such letters to accompany our smiling happy faces, providing thos…

An Open "PM" to Polly

Hey Polly, it’s me- Melissa. Can I call you Polly? Because I feel like I know you. Do I know you? We’ve been in the same social media circles for many months now.I see from your profile that you went to Cornell. I have a lot of friends that graduated from there. It’s an awesome school. What year did you graduate? I also see that you’re self-employed. I really respect entrepreneurs, particularly female entrepreneurs. What’s your business? Are you a photographer because your Facebook profile picture of Doubleday Field is fantastic.I see that you don’t have any Facebook friends, Polly. I understand that. Are you lonely? It can be really lonely around here. Listen Polly, this election got really nasty but at the end of the day are all neighbors right? Do you want to meet, do you want to talk about it? Haven’t seen you on social media since the election. I totally get where you’re coming from, Polly. It’s been hard for me, too. When you put yourself out there with really strong opinions pe…

He Said. She Said. They Said. Silence.

Don’t run I said.It gets nasty I said.Don’t worry he said.It will be fine he said. I always worry I said.He’s not the best person for the job they said.He’s always late they said.He never goes to meetings they said.This is ridiculous I said.Are you going to put up with this bullshit I said.It’s not a big deal he said.Ignore them he said.I can’t help but call them out I said.Tell Your wife to shut up they said.Keep your wife under control they said.It doesn’t bother me I said.I’ll laugh it off I said.He’s not doing a good job they said.He’s not there for us they said. He supports Osama Bin Laden they said.This isn’t funny I said.Aren’t you pissed I said.Yes, it’s crazy he said.It’ll be ok he said.Don’t trust your “friends” he said.He’s the life lock dentist they said.This is insane I said.This hurts I said.I want this to be over he said.This is politics they said.Grow thicker skin they said.I don't understand why I said.I can’t be silent I said.I can’t stop you he said.I love him I…

The Outsiders

I have lived in small, rural northeastern towns my entire life, except for a few short stints in Boston and California and my six-month study abroad in Costa Rica. As a teenager and young adult, I wanted out of small town life. I had big dreams of joining the Peace Corps or a living in Australia, or basically as far away from home as possible. But somehow those dreams didn’t come true and instead I ended up in another small, northeastern, rural town just a few short hours away from my own hometown.I wish I could say that my geographic dreams changed but that would be a lie. To this day, I still wish I could travel the world and experience cultures very different from my own. However, over time I have grown to appreciate, and find contentment, living in a place not that much different from my home. As an adult, my home is an incredibly special place to me and always will be. When I go there, to visit my parents, I realize that, as a kid, I never appreciated how lucky I was to grow up w…

A Daughter's Life

My kids are amazing. They're finally becoming humans. I can't believe that I created these people and, under my parenting, they're thriving, interesting kids. I know in a few years I'm going to be frustrated about this but right now I'm pretty pumped that they have their own ideas and a mind of their own. Charlotte in particular, who has the gift of gab, a way of putting things, and a really uncanny ability to articulate things unlike most seven years old, entertains me daily. My kids are both definitely what I would call "characters". Since I am weird, I am particularly proud that they are, too.A lot of my parenting time is spent considering ways that we, as a family, can better support Caroline with her life goals. While it is hard, I am at peace with having a child with a disability because it has made me a better person, a stronger person and a more empathetic human being. But I'm an adult and I'm able to reflect on my life experience in a dif…