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It's Complicated. It Doesn't Have To Be.

I was preparing dinner the other night. I still had my coat on and I was balancing a cat dish in one hand and a frozen pot pie in the other when Charlotte came into the kitchen. She had been in her room changing into her pj's. She pranced into the kitchen wearing only her favoritest undies- with the words SUNDAY emblazoned on the rump. She called out my name and I distractedly and tiredly looked in her direction, making eye contact. "Mom," she asked me, grabbing the soft, doughy skin above her waistband, "am I fat?" I dropped to my mental knees. I barely knew what night it was, I actually couldn't have told you in that moment what town Andy was working in on that particular evening, and all I wanted to do was take my bra off and her question stopped me in my tracks. I looked at her again, really taking in her body. Her beautiful, perfect body. I have loved her body during every stage of growth- from a chubby baby legs and round bottom to the freckle on her…
Recent posts

Tips for Transitioning to Back-To-School Time

Transitions can be hard for kids with special needs, making the back-to-school schedule particularly challenging for them and their families. Here are some tips for making that transition, and first few months of the fall, easier for everyone.Map out a Schedule and Reduce AnxietyWhile no kid wants to start talking about going back to school when he or she is still enjoying their summer vacation, it’s important to reduce anxiety by starting to talk about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like. While this could mean creating a visual schedule or developing a calendar, it’s important to talk with your child about what the back-to-school schedule is going to look like, including wake up time, what happens during the day, after school, right up until bedtime. Developing a schedule can hopefully alleviate some of your child's stress about what to expect during the transition and can also open up a dialogue for what questions and concerns your child has. Have your child w…

A Bad Relationship: Flip the Narrative

I asked you if I was smart enough.I asked you if I was pretty enough.I asked you if I was funny enough.I asked you if I was serious enough.I asked you if I was quiet enough.I asked you if I was loud enough.I asked you if I was enough.I asked if my hair was right, my clothes, and the music I listen to.I asked if you liked my friends and my family.I asked if you liked my laugh and my sense of humor.I asked if I did this right and I asked if I did that right.For years, you never answered me and I took your silence as reproach.I told you I could do better next time if I just knew what better meant to you.Then, one day, I stopped asking you these questions and I started asking them of myself.I was surprised to learn my answer was yes.Then, I decided to flip the narrative.I asked myself if you were smart enough.I asked myself if you were pretty enough.I asked myself if you were funny enough.I asked myself if you were serious enough.I asked myself if you were quiet enough.I asked myself if …

Me V. Parental Judgement

When you are pregnant, there’s so much to think about when considering the future: what color to paint the nursery, what decorating scheme to select from Pottery Barn, whether to go with disposable or reusable diapers, what to name your little nugget, and even deciding to use a cake or a box of balloons for the gender reveal party. You quickly learn that, if you share any of these decisions with anyone, you are bound to get opinions- lots of them. And, while this isn’t the first time we get solicited or unsolicited advice (where to go to college, what to choose as a major, what profession to pursue, who to date, who to marry, what dress to wear to the wedding, who to invite to the wedding, what type of alcohol to serve at the wedding..) the birth of a child seems like the first time that SO MANY opinions are given. It’s already a time of anxiety and unknowns that the opinions of others can easily feel overwhelming.What, I should have gotten the rocker that swings from side to side ins…

The Bubble Thought

Earlier this week, my sister-in-law posted one of her drawings on Facebook. The drawing depicted an image of a mother hugging her child before the child gets on the bus for the first day of the school year. As the mother hugs her child, there’s a thought bubble above her with an image of a gun. To accompany the drawing, my sister-in-law shared that this was her thought, which popped into her mind as her own child departed for school to begin a new academic year. I have no doubt that her post will be shared time again by parents around this country as we all send our children off to school to be educated. In addition to the normal fear that a parent has for their school-age school, like their academic achievement, development of meaningful friendships, and overall happiness and health, now parents have to worry about their safety while in school. We presently live in a climate where schools are hiring guardians who are retired police officers and members of the military whose sole purp…

The Multi-Generational Vacation

About five years ago I started going on long weekend vacations with my mom. We went to Florida a few times and enjoyed some fun in the sun and much needed time away from the kids. However, as is typical with me, I felt guilty about leaving the girls behind and enjoying myself without them. So I asked my mom if she was ok with bringing them along on our vacations and, for the last three years, we’ve been taking a girls' beach trip. I am fortunate that my mom spends quite a lot of time with us throughout the year and has even started taking the girls for me during break weeks now that she has retired. They are really comfortable with her and it she doesn't seem to mind doing some occasional parenting for me. While we spend time at one another's houses, I really look forward to this trip more than any other trip every year because I get to spend time with my mom, I get to watch her spend time with my kids, and we always go to the ocean which is a place Andy never wants to go.…

Between Two Car Doors

When I was in elementary school I started having some breathing issues. In the evening, after the day's activities, I would start to feel tightness in my chest and shortness of breath. After telling my mom about this, after weeks if not months, she decided to take me to the doctor. After the doctor did a few tests, that all came back negative, he concluded I didn’t have any serious problems like asthma or a heart condition. He told my mom that it was probably some type of anxiety and that, after a busy day, I would settle down in the evening and start to worry about what it happened that day and what was going to happen the next day.Of course, this was a different time in our world. First of all, it was big that my mom even took me to the doctor because, back in the day, people didn’t run to the clinic for every sore throat, rash, or for tummy ache. Second of all, this was also a time when, if something wasn’t physically wrong with you, like blood gushing from your leg or somethin…