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Showing posts from February, 2011

Eight Consecutive Hours

In many ways, it was a glorious weekend. Andy may disagree, but I really am easy to please. It's not hard to please when your expectations are incredibly low.

I have been deprived of many things over the last year and a half; nothing too big or horrible. Just the simple things that make life sweet. Like alcohol, caffeine, time to myself and most importantly, sleep.

Andy says that I think of myself as a martyr but he is wrong. As a parent, I do not feel selfless. I feel incredibly selfish. I decided to have children and it is my responsibility to take care of them. The job is 24/7 and some days I get really sick of being responsible and I want to run away. I'm mad at myself for arguing with Andy each day about our schedules and for constantly negotiating for time. Some days I'm only going through the motions of parenting while my mind is longing to be somewhere else, whether it's on the beach or out on a long run. I start to feel resentful when a friend calls and wants …

Do-Over

In honor of Ground Hog's Day and Bill Murray and inspired by Sarah's very perfect text message.

Do you ever wish that you could have a do-over? There are just so very many occasions that I've said or done something and pretty much instantly wished that I could turn back time and try that one again. I'd like to have a winter do-over.

After my last post I received several emails, texts and calls of concern and support. Thanks for caring and for the Valium, alcohol and vacation suggestions, all equally tantalizing and much more feasible than a good night's rest.

This past Wednesday I was on the phone with my mom, setting a date for her to watch the girls so Andy and I can go on a much needed, two-night mini-vacation. We were chatting about the places I've been researching for the last few weeks-affordable and relaxing vacation spots within a four-hour drive. I told her I'd ignored Andy's urging to return to Lake Placid and John Brown's house, where we…