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Showing posts from October, 2009

The Biggest Fear

Are you afraid of anything? As you may have guessed, I am afraid of many things. I hate snakes. I am afraid of small spaces and being trapped and unable to move my legs. I am afraid of driving in the snow. I hate the dark and looking out of my windows at night. But more than any of these, I'm afraid of dying and leaving Caroline without a mom. There are so many things that I want to tell her and I'm worried that something will happen to me and I won't be there to impart my wisdom. A few lessons on my list include:
Be kind to others. Treat them as you wish to be treated.Eat a good mix of veggies and fruits along with junk food. Don't drink soda. Drink water. Brush your teeth and please, please floss!Wear clean underwear.Make your bed. It will make you ready to start your day.Stand up straight. (Yes, do as I SAY, not as I DO.)You can have just as much fun sober as you can drunk. But if you do get drunk, have a friend close by to hold your hair back and to turn you…

The Gift

My step was light as I rounded the corner to our frequent after-work restaurant. My two favorite people were meeting me for dinner and I expected them to be waiting for me when I arrived. As I pushed the door open, a string of bells tinked against the glass announcing my entrance. As did the little girl who ran past every table with arms wide open, gleefully crying, "Mommy!"

Distance makes the heart grow fonder and our daily, evening reunions bring much joy to me. After a day apart I love to see her round face and bright eyes. I love to feel her soft, chubby hands in mine and to hear the sound of her little voice recounting her day, "I eat hot dog. I ride bike. I sing Old MacDonald." As we ease into our version of a conversation, I'm amazed that only three years ago today I saw that face, felt those hands and heard that sweet voice for the first time.

The night of her birth my mom says I looked like a deer in headlights. I remember looking at Caroline curled up …

Parental True Colors

Sometimes we can hide our personalities. Even our own friends, family and spouse don't get to see our true colors. That is until we have children. Having a kid is like posting your personal values and beliefs on a sandwich board and walking around the streets of New York wearing it on your chest.

I lived with Andy for five years before having Caroline and was only slightly annoyed with some of his habits and decisions. I'm not sure it is was lack of sleep and stress, but boy, when Caroline was crying in the middle of the night or up for the day at the crack of dawn, nothing irritated me more than the fact that Andy was a night owl and slept like a rock through all of the crying, feedings and changings. We have a laundry list of topics we argue about related to Caroline including bed time and setting healthy boundaries. But I have to say that diet is the biggest battle between us.

Just this week we drove past the grocery store on the way home from work. Caroline, who frequently s…

To Serve and Protect

As a mom it is my duty to serve and protect- my child, that is. Even before she was born I was planning for every possible disaster and threat that could hurt Caroline. I bought all of the safety gadgets like plug covers, locks for the cabinets. I padded the stone hearth, made a fortress out of plastic bins and baby gates, in order to block the cat door and stair well. I always have wipes handy for washing dirty little hands that touch dirty little things. I put the frying pan on the back burner, I test the water before putting her in the bathtub. I make sure she has enough layers on to prevent frostbite but not too many so that she doesn't over heat. When I don't anticipate disaster or I just plain slip up, I reprimand myself, call myself a bad mom and mentally note to never let something so stupid happen again.

Normally, I pride myself on being the perfect, protective mother hen but I do have my off days. I went to make some toast, this summer, and after about 1 minute…