A Mom's Life

I've had a few people ask me why I made the decision to raise children. The question is usually posed when one kid is tantrumming, the other is rolling in mud, and I am holding back tears. So, I get why they may ask this question as it seems like a cause and effect thing: have kids, be stressed. Have kids, sleep less. Have kids, have less money. Have kids, be tired. Have kids, have no free time. Yes, it's true. All of these things are true. Does it suck? Yes, sometimes, wait, no often it does suck that I'm tired, I have less money, I'm stressed and I lack free time. It isn't fun to take a poop to an audience, to have someone throw up in your ear at 3 am, or for someone to kick your shins in the grocery store. There are days that I've been so tired and so overwhelmed that all I can do is cry. There have been years at a time that I've forgotten who I was and have cared less about who I am. I've questioned my logic, my reasoning, every ability I have to be ...

2014 was a surprisingly good year for me. In a past post I reflected on it as the year of me. I accomplished goals, unexpectedly, and felt pretty darn good about it. From my personal to professional, pieces fit together in 2014 and I was riding high on life. It all felt too good to be true. Until the end of the year when I pulled my hamstring at a race. I remember it clear as day. I woke up, the day after the race, with a sore leg and a cold. And I kept running. The following weekend, on a cold, icy morning, I went for a run with friends. My leg and chest were both on fire and I had to walk intermittently. I was pissed off at myself and embarrassed that I couldn't keep up my friends. Later that afternoon I brought Caroline to her riding lesson and ran up and down the icy road at the barn in 1/2 mile dashes. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, in the bitter sleet, until her lesson was over and I was exhausted. It didn't matter that I was already exhausted when I woke...