Skip to main content

Get on with the Show!

I loved being pregnant with Caroline-well after the first 12 weeks of vomiting every morning, Noon and night like clock work. I ate whatever I wanted because I was "eating for two"- yeah, yeah, I know you're not really supposed to do that but I didn't care. My normally mousy and thin hair was thick and lustrous and my pale skin was vibrant. I had a great infectious laugh and my jiggling belly usually made me erupt into more laughs. I stopped monitoring my exercise and striving for the next mile during a run and instead let myself sleep in instead of getting up at 6 am to head to the gym before work.

I got a new wardrobe. Whether wearing hand-me-downs or items from a first-time trip to Motherhood Maternity, I had no choice but to showcase all new duds. As my belly grew, so did my closet.

I like to be the center of attention and pregnancy put my right in the spotlight. All women gravitate to pregnant ladies, whether they know you or not. There were always tons of questions, "Is this your first? When are you due? How do you feel? Is it a boy or a girl? Are you nesting? Will you nurse? Will you go back to work? Do you have names?"

I got another shower, just a year and a half after my wedding, and tons of presents. Sure they weren't for me necessarily but at this point, any gift for baby was a gift for me. I was even the guest of honor at multiple parties and reveled in unpacking all of the goodies and placing them in exactly the right drawer s in the sweetly decorated, ready six-months-before-arrival nursery.

And time is still your friend during your first pregnancy. I had time to sleep in. I had time to go to the gym, even when I didn't. I had time to take a bath and go to the multiple doctor's appointments. I had time to day dream about what my baby would look like and to make lists of names over and over again.

It wasn't all sunshine and happy times but I liked being pregnant with Caroline and had no worries about doing it again. Except HAVING a baby changes everything and the second time around means you've HAD the first baby so why would I have ever thought that pregnancy two would be the same as number one?

I'm a little bit over half way through pregnancy number two and the days of sunshine and baby day dreams have been few and far between. I was sick for eighteen weeks and this time I had a little monkey following me around mimicking my gagging while Andy turned away in disgust. All moms know there has been no sleeping in and no naps. It took all of my power, during the first trimester, to go to work, pick Caroline up from school and drive us home before collapsing on the couch before cooking up a nutritious frozen entree for the family.

I've pulled the hand-me-downs from the garage and they've lost their appeal. My new clothing budget line is now Caroline's ever-changing need for clothing budget line. There will be no parties but at least we have a great stash of clothes, toys and baby gadgets to recycle. I lost so much hair after having Caroline that the best I can get this time around is a covering over a bald spot. The weight gain doesn't feel like a novelty anymore since I know how hard it is to take it off. At least I'm still not monitoring my exercise routine.

And forget about time. Time is a distant memory. Long gone are the days of lounging on the couch with my feet up which have been traded for the days of trying to find a spot on my rounded hip for Caroline who insists on being carried everywhere. I've stopped counting how many people have told me they've forgotten that I'm pregnant. What did you think that thing is sticking out from my belly-a new pillow pants fad? And maybe you assumed I finally splurged and bought myself the Dolly Parton edition miracle bra.

Women still start asking the questions, "Is this your first?" But as soon as I say "no" they smile and move on. Who cares how I feel this time? Who cares if we've picked out names? Who cares if I'm nesting or how I'll feed the baby. Been there. Done that. It's like they think having a baby again isn't as exciting and wonderful and scary and beautiful for me as it was the first time around.

They should know better! It is! If having A BABY changes everything I can only imagine what having ANOTHER BABY is going to be like! I don't really care that I'm not as pretty or relaxed as before or that I'm wearing a moo-moo with a stain on the belly. I don't need anybody to buy me stuff because I know now what I really want and what I'll really use. I don't need the sleep or the naps because I have a little girl who kisses my belly every night and tries her darnedest to rub my feet. And we've saved time when it comes to names by pulling out the old Baby One lists.

I guess I feel the same way about my second pregnancy as all those around me. I know too, that I'm just the opening act for a really awesome show that's about to open just a few months from now and I can't wait!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When The Team Won't Follow the Leader

I am aware that there are some critics out there who think that Andy and I are kind of loosey-goosey parents. Some think we don’t have enough rules or enough structure or discipline in our family. I’ve always felt really bad about this because, from one perspective, I can sort of see what they are talking about. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel guilty about being a shitty parent. My thoughts before passing out each night, exhausted, are about how I could’ve done a better job today and that I really hope I can do a better job the next day. Tomorrow is a new day to make rules and implement them, right? But I finally figured out what the missing link is for me and Andy and why we just can’t be the structured, rigid, disciplinarians that we “aspire“ to be. The other day I was picking up the kids. When we were driving home, my mind was racing with about 50 different things I needed to do at home and at work. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t really present in the moment with the kids even thoug...

Charlotte's Story

What can you do in seventeen minutes? Watch an episode of your favorite sitcom without commercials? Run two miles at a good clip? Eat a meal, or in Andy's case, microwave a meal and then eat it? Have a baby? Because that's what I did. You heard me right. I birthed a baby in seventeen minutes because I am a machine. I am a machine ! I am a baby birthing woman of steel. I am not much of a bragger and you may recall that I was never good and never bad at anything. I have no particular achievements to tout, academically, physically, professionally or otherwise except baby birthing. I'm really good at this and I'm pretty darn proud of it and I'd like to brag about it to you now. This is Charlotte's birth story. For the first four or five months of my pregnancy with Charlotte, most people forgot that I was even pregnant. This does happen to you with multiple pregnancies. I never forgot that I was pregnant. Morning sickness heart burn and frequent bathroom t...

The Perennial

Turning 40 is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I’m talking somebody standing at the top of the Empire State building with a wheelbarrow of bricks that they throw on top of me as I stand on the street. Every brick that catapults toward me has a different message: Your hair is getting gray. Your eyebrows are thinning. The skin on your neck and elbows is getting soft. Your hands are wrinkly. Your midsection is getting softer and rounder. You wear progressive glasses. You wake up and go to bed really early. You talk about things like vitamins and retirement. Your back hurts when you get out of bed and when you stand too long or when you sit too long. You think about taking Metamucil or Fiber One to keep you regular. You have one glass of wine and feel hung over the next day. Your kids talk about buying bras and getting their period. You should have stood up straight as a kid because now your neck and back are stuck in this awkward, turtle-like position, and it...