Skip to main content

Somebody Who Matters

At first glance, one may not think that my mom and I are alike. Moe is shy and reserved. She's calm and thoughtful. She's a good listener and keeps things to herself. She's grounded and sensible. She's practical. You may be laughing now if you know me. I'm loud and outspoken. I'm dramatic and irrational. I talk too much and share too much. My head is often in the clouds and I lack common sense. I 'm a dreamer. How did this kid come from that mom? Well, if you know me, you also know that my mom has had the greatest impact on me and that we are actually very much alike. For example, Moe isn't really shy or reserved. She's just waiting for the right time to tell you what she thinks and you're going to hear it whether or not you like it. She uses the F-bomb freely, and sometimes inappropriately. In her own right, she is a feminist. She's a loyal friend. She's the family organizer. She has a quirky sense of humor and knows not to take herself too seriously. We can talk about anything together, no matter how serious or silly. I've always had a deep, great love for my mom even through my bratty teen years. Although I think some of my decisions were made to demonstrate that I could do things she never did. I was determined to go to college, to travel internationally, and to never get stuck at home taking care of a kid and husband. In my naivete, I thought, in order to be successful, I had to be more than just a mom. Years later, after college, and travel, and all those other things I had to do to show I was somebody who mattered, I finally became somebody who mattered. And three and a half years after that, my importance was reinforced. Since the moment I knew I was pregnant, my respect, and love, for my mom has ever increased. I'll be lucky if I'm half the parent she is. I hope my current decisions demonstrate that I understand I have been given the greatest gifts, two beautiful little girls and a beautiful and amazing mother. I talk to my mom at least a few times a week. We shoot the breeze, talk about TV, give one another work updates, or laugh about things the kids say. But mostly, I talk at her. Just like when I was a child, I look to my mom to help me at the end of a rough day, to be an ear to listen to my gripes and complaints and to remind me that it's all going to be ok. This past Saturday night, I got a late text message from her wishing me and my cousin good luck before the next day's half marathon. I wrote to her. "Thanks! I'm really scared." Her response back was quick and to the point, "You'll be fine." Tonight, I called her to debrief a stressful day. She listened, as always, and offered her words of wisdom. I felt better just talking to her. I wish I could see her more but I'm thankful that she's only a phone call away. After we hung up, I put the kids to bed, then, feeling like a weight had been lifted, I relaxed in the bathtub. While sitting there, reading a magazine, I thought about what my mom had said and worried that as usaul, I'd babbled on and hoped my mom shared everything she'd wanted to. I thought about calling her back when I heard the phone ring and the answering machine picked up. It was mom,and aparently, she did have more to say. "It's just me. I wanted to let you know that I heard on the news that the state of New York has declared child pornography not, NOT illegal. Disgusting." Happy Mother's Day to all moms but especially my very own.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Love Otsego but I Love Andy More

Growing up, my big brother was your typical older brother. He loved to torture me and his favorite hobby was making me mad or making me cry. He took my own stuff and made me buy it back from him at a yard sale. He put dog crap in my socks and sneakers. He threw spit balls at me, pinched me and never let me win at any games. Despite his daily doses of teasing and displeasing me, I did notice that he wasn't particularly interested in other people making me mad or making me cry. I'm not saying he was ready to fight on my behalf, or ride up on a white horse to protect me, but he was pretty firm in his position as the number one bane of my existence. Despite the fact that he no longer tortures me quite like he used to, our relationship has left a lasting impression on me, long into adulthood. As a self proclaimed arm chair therapist, I take note that I have been trying to work through that relationship for years-with Andy. Poor Andy had no idea that, when we started dating, I'…

Holiday Letters- in Two Versions!

I don’t know about you but I love a good holiday letter. Nothing sends me into a tailspin of self doubt and depression like reading the carefully crafted story of the highs and accomplishments of those in my life. As the letters flow in, alongside the photos of the beautiful smiling faces of my loved ones, I curl up under a warm blanket, look out at the bleak, gray winter skies and think: what the fu#k is wrong with me?We are so fortunate, due to modern technological advances, to be able to experience this self doubt an average of 20-50 times per day as we addictively scroll a variety of social media channels. Yet nothing truly confirms our own personal inadequacies like a yearly summary of others’ successes and happiness neatly packed in an 8 1/2 X 11 sheet of paper, folded in thirds and slipped into an envelope alongside a card collage of beach shots, matching sweaters and smiling, happy faces. I, too, have sent along such letters to accompany our smiling happy faces, providing thos…

An Open "PM" to Polly

Hey Polly, it’s me- Melissa. Can I call you Polly? Because I feel like I know you. Do I know you? We’ve been in the same social media circles for many months now.I see from your profile that you went to Cornell. I have a lot of friends that graduated from there. It’s an awesome school. What year did you graduate? I also see that you’re self-employed. I really respect entrepreneurs, particularly female entrepreneurs. What’s your business? Are you a photographer because your Facebook profile picture of Doubleday Field is fantastic.I see that you don’t have any Facebook friends, Polly. I understand that. Are you lonely? It can be really lonely around here. Listen Polly, this election got really nasty but at the end of the day are all neighbors right? Do you want to meet, do you want to talk about it? Haven’t seen you on social media since the election. I totally get where you’re coming from, Polly. It’s been hard for me, too. When you put yourself out there with really strong opinions pe…