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I'm Gonna Cry, Cry, Cry

I cry quite a bit. It's basically my reaction to just about everything. Whether I'm mad, glad, happy or sad, I'm going to bawl. I can try my very best to bury the tears inside but I have no poker face. As soon as I feel the air welling up in my chest, the lump in my throat, I'm a goner. Here's a brief list of the things I've cried over of late:

-The girls breaking the sunglasses my mother-in-law just bought me. I only wore them once!
-In a work meeting after watching a 9/11 Tribute.
-After reading or watching anything related to 9/11.
-Watching the commercial with the dad talking to his daughter before she drives away in the car, you know, the one where he sees her as a little girl and not a teen.
-Watching the girls warm up to Katy Perry's Firework before the Girls on the Run 5k.
-While running next to Caroline in the GOTR 5k.
-The very beginning of any race I've ever particpated in. There's something about watching others meet a goal, and me accomplishing my own goal, that chokes me up big time.
-Bedtime for the girls, at least once a week. There's a fine line between me keeping it together and losing it around 7:15pm.
-Watching my parents and in-laws play with the kids.
-During any St. Jude's or SPCA commercial.
-While reading A Thousand Splendid Suns. That damn book is so depressing.
-On Caroline's first day of school, after one of her classmates asked me if I was her Daddy. I cried inside a bit.
-The first day, and every day since, when putting Caroline on the bus.
-Watching Caroline sing and dance to Elizabeth Mitchell in concert and thinking about how I sang her these songs every day for the first year of her life.
-Looking at a recent photo where I clearly have a bald spot in the back of my head.
-When Charlotte squeezes my post baby kitty pouch.
-When my mom leaves after a weekend visit.
-At 5 am when Charlotte wakes up and I get her a bottle and I step in cat puke. And I clean it up and then I notice it is spewed all over the couch, too.
-Any time I open the door to Andy's office.
-When Andy yells at me for accidentally tipping over cleaning supplies in the laundry room. Just kidding. I totally ignore his ranting. It's like the adults in the Peanuts, you know?

I'm just an emotional basket case. My tears make some uncomfortable, especially Andy, but crying is a big part of who I am. And most of the time I cry because I'm happy. Or because I'm really tired and totally overwhelmed. It's all good though. Next time you are with me and I start to cry, please give me a hug because it helps. And if that's not your thing, maybe a pat on the shoulder? Or just give me some money. That's sure to put a smile on my face and I could buy myself some new sunglasses.


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