Skip to main content

Happy New Year!

The New Year looms around the corner and it's at this time that I look back at the past 12 months to reflect on my life, and ahead, to decide what to improve in the future. I do this every year, and while I have good intentions, I pretty much break every New Year's resolution. I have to ask myself why I set resolutions and why I then proceed to break them.

I'm a reflective perfectionist so it is my nature to obsess about what I did wrong and how to fix it. I recently read in (the scholarly journal) Real Simple about rumination- when one fixates on something very small, stresses out about it and makes it a bigger deal than it really is. Well, my middle name might as well be Ruminate. I am so good at it! Since I'm also very moody and sensitive, I strive to make every interaction, with every person I encounter, perfect. To err is human, and I'm often a big mouth fool so 2/3 of the time, I screw up and then I feel terrible for like, um, a year, or longer. Setting goals is a way for me to put a positive spin on my foolishness and to appease my rumination. So, I screwed up royally on that, with that person, because I did x, y, z this year, but there's always next year! I can do better, with everything, during the next twelve months.

And this is the answer, my friends, to the second part of my question. Why do I break the promises I set for myself? Because I am not perfect. I don't fail because I set unrealistic goals for myself. I don't fail because I'm lazy or afraid. I don't keep all of my promises, or accomplish all of my goals, because I get distracted. With each new day of the new year comes another blunder another flub and another reason to try harder the next day, the next month and the next year. It's hard, in January, to know what I'll need to fix by November.

Now,now, I'm not looking for reasons for you to email or FB message me to tell me that I'm not as much of a fool as I make myself out to be or that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I don't mean to be my own harsh critic. I'm pretty sure you may feel this way about your own resolution setting process. Or maybe you do think I'm a fool and you meet all of your yearly goals. Well, good for you and mea culpa for me.

Let's get on with the show! Please enjoy this list of New Year's resolutions that I will not accomplish (at least not intentionally) by this time next year!
1. drink more water
2. cook more real food for myself and my family
3. stress less about driving in the snow
4. do more yoga
5. run in a road race of significant distance
6. wear more sunblock
7. spend less time on facebook
8. get published
9. get my scrapbooking up-to-date
10. lay on a beach in a bikini

There they are. Some very superficial goals that really don't reflect the true improvements I need to make this year but just maybe I can check a few of these off my list while I go about my day as a bumbling, average erring human. Happy Holidays, New Year and goal setting to all of my readers!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Me V. Parental Judgement

When you are pregnant, there’s so much to think about when considering the future: what color to paint the nursery, what decorating scheme to select from Pottery Barn, whether to go with disposable or reusable diapers, what to name your little nugget, and even deciding to use a cake or a box of balloons for the gender reveal party. You quickly learn that, if you share any of these decisions with anyone, you are bound to get opinions- lots of them. And, while this isn’t the first time we get solicited or unsolicited advice (where to go to college, what to choose as a major, what profession to pursue, who to date, who to marry, what dress to wear to the wedding, who to invite to the wedding, what type of alcohol to serve at the wedding..) the birth of a child seems like the first time that SO MANY opinions are given. It’s already a time of anxiety and unknowns that the opinions of others can easily feel overwhelming.What, I should have gotten the rocker that swings from side to side ins…

It's Complicated. It Doesn't Have To Be.

I was preparing dinner the other night. I still had my coat on and I was balancing a cat dish in one hand and a frozen pot pie in the other when Charlotte came into the kitchen. She had been in her room changing into her pj's. She pranced into the kitchen wearing only her favoritest undies- with the words SUNDAY emblazoned on the rump. She called out my name and I distractedly and tiredly looked in her direction, making eye contact. "Mom," she asked me, grabbing the soft, doughy skin above her waistband, "am I fat?" I dropped to my mental knees. I barely knew what night it was, I actually couldn't have told you in that moment what town Andy was working in on that particular evening, and all I wanted to do was take my bra off and her question stopped me in my tracks. I looked at her again, really taking in her body. Her beautiful, perfect body. I have loved her body during every stage of growth- from a chubby baby legs and round bottom to the freckle on her…

The Bubble Thought

Earlier this week, my sister-in-law posted one of her drawings on Facebook. The drawing depicted an image of a mother hugging her child before the child gets on the bus for the first day of the school year. As the mother hugs her child, there’s a thought bubble above her with an image of a gun. To accompany the drawing, my sister-in-law shared that this was her thought, which popped into her mind as her own child departed for school to begin a new academic year. I have no doubt that her post will be shared time again by parents around this country as we all send our children off to school to be educated. In addition to the normal fear that a parent has for their school-age school, like their academic achievement, development of meaningful friendships, and overall happiness and health, now parents have to worry about their safety while in school. We presently live in a climate where schools are hiring guardians who are retired police officers and members of the military whose sole purp…