I don’t know about you but I love a good holiday letter. Nothing sends me into a tailspin of self doubt and depression like reading the carefully crafted story of the highs and accomplishments of those in my life. As the letters flow in, alongside the photos of the beautiful smiling faces of my loved ones, I curl up under a warm blanket, look out at the bleak, gray winter skies and think: what the fu#k is wrong with me?
We are so fortunate, due to modern technological advances, to be able to experience this self doubt an average of 20-50 times per day as we addictively scroll a variety of social media channels. Yet nothing truly confirms our own personal inadequacies like a yearly summary of others’ successes and happiness neatly packed in an 8 1/2 X 11 sheet of paper, folded in thirds and slipped into an envelope alongside a card collage of beach shots, matching sweaters and smiling, happy faces.
I, too, have sent along such letters to accompany our smiling happy faces, providing those near and far with a short list of the amazing things we did and accomplished in a given 12 months. Like the skilled curator I was trained (and am still paying) to be, I carefully and intentionally organize, annotate and share content for a specific audience-our friends and family. Some of whom know that the story they are reading is truly only a whitewashing, an historical interpretation that errs on the side of nostalgia rather than fact. Others, who either don't see us in real time, or don't get the crazed calls or texts from me about my constant state of being on the verge of something or other, read the letter and toss it contentedly in the trash and, if we are lucky, place the matching sweater pic on their fridge until New Year's.
I have thought a lot this year about sending a REAL letter, a true synopsis of the last year. My readers tell me that I "keep it real" so I feel compelled to shed the curated story and go for a reality check. Since there are more loved ones near and far than there are smiling happy face cards to go around, I thought I'd take the letter to the internet, for mass sharing.
For the sake of comparison, let me start with the curated letter. Here goes:
Hello friends and family near and far!
How blessed we have been this year and how thankful we are to share our blessings with all of you! It has been such a busy and productive year for the Fly Creek Mariettas! Caroline has blossomed into a beautiful pre-teen! She is loving school, making friends and even has a crush on a boy or two! She loves to ride horses and enjoys reading as well as indulging in popular culture via Netflix. We love watching her personality develop. She's quite feisty at times and is certainly a woman who knows what she wants and she sure goes after it and gets it! Charlotte, who is equally full of feistiness and spirit, is our strong-willed child. She excels in school and always wants to take the lead- Charlotte for President 2056?! When Charlotte is not studying or riding horses, she enjoys watching You Tube videos and playing in her room. We're most certain we can hear her crafting her own You Tube tutorials behind that closed door. Future top influencer for sure!
Andy and I have both had such an exciting and professionally rewarding year! Andy is taking Otsego County by storm and decisively won over his opponent in the County Representative election. In addition to his work with the county, he was promoted to Vice President at the organization he's served for 15 years. His days are nearly as packed as his resume as he juggles anything from non-profit board training to dump closings on any given day. I continue my work in the college sphere and enjoy the cadence of managing work responsibilities with the role of being primary parent. I am the quintessential working mother and enjoy being the person in the office who does what needs to be done- changing the photocopier toner, scrubbing the old salad dressing off the drawers of the break room fridge- and always accept any offers to serve on career panels as the "Work/Life" balance expert! If anyone of you catch me on social media, you'll know I caught the political bug this year. Whether marching on Washington, or sitting in the audience at the County Board "Meet the Candidates" Night, I was sure to let you know what man I stand behind and which one I don't! Ladies- it's SO IMPORTANT to use your voice to advocate for the male leaders in our lives! After all, they are working for YOU!
Athletically, Andy and I can't believe how fit we feel at (nearly) 40! Andy continues to play both baseball and hockey locally. He did have a small incident with a hockey puck this winter, but it's nothing that an oral surgeon and some good insurance can't fix! I have had a few injuries keeping me away from my long distance runs but the excess weight gain has forced me to buy all new clothes and honestly, what girl isn't looking for a good excuse to buy new clothes!?
When we aren't kicking butt and taking names, we find time for R&R. We traveled to California in February and truly enjoyed seeing the West Coast winter. What a unique thrill we experienced driving up the Pacific Coast Highway during what was called a Once in a Lifetime Historic Flood. Who knew that California used snow plows to push rocks and mud off the road during landslides! You should have seen the waves crashing over the road onto our rental car! In addition to our west coast adventure, we enjoyed plenty of time with our siblings, their families and our parents during travels to Pennsylvania and Rhode Island.
We close the year awaiting Santa and his sleigh of goodies to grace our home. There's nothing more joyous than watching the little ones tear apart gifts on Christmas morning.
Blessings and good tiding to each of you as we send our love and Jesus's light from our home to yours.
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And....now it's time for me to write the "Keeping It Real" version. Here goes:
What's UP people?! It has been one HELL of a year and let's be honest, the year really started in November of 2016 when Donald Trump was elected President of the United States and we all learned that Chicken Little wasn't lying and the sky really was falling. Like that video we all saw on Facebook of the guy rolling down a hill, we have tumbled from January to November, twisting our legs and bruising our asses along the way.
Caroline is now 11 and Andy and I are freaking out about things like bras and periods. We got her this period book but nobody wants to go there, if you know what I mean. Every time she mentions a boy Andy mentions his shot gun. Our only hope is that her vehement denial of wearing deodorant will keep any and all suitors at bay. She asked me yesterday if she still had a chance if a guy told her there was a 99.99% chance he didn't like her. She's got ONE friend but I worry about the longevity of their relationship as this poor kid has to endure Caroline's tantrums like when she threw wrapping paper violently across the floor at TJ MAXX and called me worthless because I wouldn't buy her eye shadow. She also has a stealing problem and we are working on keeping her out of juvie and away from all other kids' iPhones, and everyone else's hard earned cash stashes.
Andy and I are finding forty to be challenging on the spirit and the body. We both have learned that simple decisions about our health can impact our fates. For me, the lesson was not to run on a pulled hamstring. This simple act has caused me two years away from distance running and twenty additional pounds to my ass and thighs. The exciting news is that I now have enough of a chest to require a bra. Andy learned that you should put your mouth guard and helmet on instead of keeping them in the car. After 10 months and 8K in doctor's bills, Andy still lacks two front teeth and pronounces his daughter's name as Sarlotte.
If you live in hole and don't follow us on social media, you don't know that I almost lost my shit this year when Andy ran for re-election as our County Representative. Keep in mind that, two years ago, I told him not to run and he said he wouldn't and then did and I found out about it by reading about in it the paper. Well, he was in the paper regularly this fall and was the subject of many negative campaign mailers and push poll phone calls. Our neighbors learned, from his opponent, that Andy was a Bin Laden sympathizer and I learned to practice restraint as I muttered Rage Against the Machine lyrics in my head on repeat. The good news is that Andy won because light always defeats dark and because of all those prayer chains everyone did for me. This means that I'll see Andy for about an hour each week but don't worry. I think sacrificing time with him outweighs having the person who represents me and my county spew lies and create a climate of negativity in our community. Speaking of losing my shit, I continue to struggle with the whole work/life balance thing which is as elusive to me as a unicorn. I know this much to be true: there is no balance. It's full steam ahead on both sides and it's stretching me to the max. I figure I should get back into yoga so I can limber up because being a stiff is no way to be when you are a mom. Oh, in addition to winning the election, Andy got a promotion to Vice President. He now makes a dollar more than me and he's pretty damn proud.
As a way to increase my anxiety, Andy and I took the girls to California a few days after both of my staff resigned. I wished I'd had a prescription for Adivan while driving through flooded highways during what we were told repeatedly was a totally freak and rare occasion. Turns out some Kombucha combined with vodka was just the remedy I needed to knock some fun into me and after a night of drinking that I laughed all the way through the rain, Char vomiting and It's a Small World a Disneyland.
We spent time with our families- our parents, our siblings and their children. These were the absolute highlights of the year. We cherish every moment with them. We are so thankful to our parents for their constant support. We are incredibly proud of our siblings and their spouses and adore our nephews.
As we close the year, I brace myself for credit card debt combined with rooms full of mass marketed plastic crap from China filling our home. What in the hell is a Fingerling and how will they improve our lives?
We wish you all the best. We have no idea if there's a God but if there is we hope SHE is looking down on you and giving you all that you need as you navigate the same, and often times much harder, struggles we tackle each year. You may not post your lows to the world as much as your highs and we sure hope that's because the lows are far and few between. Blessings. -The Mariettas
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