I believe that I have an entrepreneurial spirit. Over the course of my adulthood I have come up with a number of exciting entrepreneurial ventures. From a scrapbooking B&B to a website dedicated to things that happen in the bathroom, I put my creative mind to use to come up with some pretty cool business ideas. Unfortunately, Andy, and everyone else in my life with whom I’ve shared these ideas, have told me that, while all of my ideas might be interesting, fascinating, or funny, they would never get off the ground or make any money. Since I’m rather adverse to risk, I respected their opinions and trusted their judgment. Yet, I just can’t help myself from coming up with more entrepreneurial concepts on any given day.
My most recent one likely would not produce any income, like all of my other ideas. However, I feel I need to share it because it truly aligns with my skill sets and strengths. I’m not afraid to be shut down so I’ll go ahead and share my idea with you and see what you think about it. OK, here goes: people can send me their worries, you know, like over email or social media or tweet or whatever. They can even text me.Then they can stop worrying about whatever it is they are worrying about and I’ll worry about it for them.
I think it’ll be a win-win because people can get all their worries off their chest and out of their minds and I find that I’m really, really good at worrying about everything and I can confidently promise them I will worry about everything and anything better than they ever could. For example, Say you just had a worry enter your mind. At this point time it’s just a glimmer of a worry. It hasn’t come to its true fruition. You can give me that worry and I will shape and develop and give life and presence and meaning to that worry.
Let me give you an example: say you are scrolling through your Facebook one morning and you see one of those colorful meteorological PowerPoint images from the National Weather Service forecasting some sort of storm coming up in the next 48 hours. You’ve got a busy day ahead of you and within 30 seconds you have already moved on to another thought. Go ahead and send me a quick text telling me that you might be a little bit worried about the upcoming storm. Don’t worry anymore, I’ve got your worrying covered. I will check your local weather report every hour. I will check the National Weather Service bulletins, Weather Underground, and the weather app, for your area, from my phone. I will consider all the things that will get messed up for you if that storm does come your way. I will worry about whether or not your tires have sufficient traction to get you through the snow. I will worry that your windshield wipers should’ve been changed two months ago. I will worry about whether or not you have enough windshield washer fluid and what you’re going to do with your kids if they cancel school. I can even worry for you about whether or not your snowblower might break down while you’re cleaning your driveway.
As you can see, I will take the smallest concerns and create a full-blown catastrophic anxiety-fueled problem for you. For a slightly additional fee, I can take it to the next level. I can add some additional worries, like what if you lose power or your roof starts to leak? For just a little bit more cash, I can do this-for you. Let me use my talents to help you. I can already imagine how successful this business is going to be. I can already imagine the recommendations I’m going to get.........
"Sharon", from Western New York, had this to say about my worry service, “I noticed that one of the moles on my back was slightly misshapen. Between juggling kids and work, I didn’t have time to worry about it much. I texted Melissa about the mole and within 24 hours she had gone on Web M.D., watched several YouTube videos, watched an episode of Dr. Oz on moles, and talked to her coworker's cousin who also has an abnormal mole. For what I consider a true bargain, Melissa replied with a three page PDF outline the potential cancers I could have. As an extra bonus, she did some research on my health insurance and found out that my insurance will only cover 50% of the treatments. Thanks, Melissa! You really turned a small, inconsequential idea into a full-blown anxiety attack!"
"Ginger", from Florida shared her experience with Melissa's Worry Service, "I recently learned I was going to have to stop wearing contact lenses because I have chronic dry eyes. After my appointment I had to go immediately on vacation to Barbados. I texted Melissa to tell her I was transitioning to glasses full-time, knowing she'd chew on the news a bit for me while I had fun in the sun. Six days and seven nights later- viola! Melissa sent me a Google drive folder chock full of potential concerns related to my transition to four eyes. she's so organized, the folder even included an easy-to-use, print-friendly check-list of things to worry about like, how will I go on roller coaster rides, how will I see sharks in the ocean when I'm swimming and what if I fall on the ice, break the glasses and can't drive home? Finally, she made sure I worried about the most important concern of all, would I survive a zombie apocalypse in frames? Nobody on The Walking Dead wears glasses. Thank you, Melissa! You made me hate myself and have to schedule a therapy session within 24 hours of returning from my vacation!"
Well, Reader, what do you think? Do you think this is an innovative concept that I should bring to the Sharks? I know. I know. It's good, it's almost there, I just need to figure out a few details, like what's in it for the customer. I still have to ruminate on that for a bit because I'm not sure what's in it for anyone else but, for me, I know that taking on someone else's thoughts may stop me from worrying about my own.
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