Skip to main content

Can You Hear Me Now?

Sometimes the love between two is seen in subtle ways. A gentle caress. Repeated glances. Always close by. There for you night and day, good and bad. The sound of their voice is music to your ears. I witness this true love on a daily basis and I envy it. Right before my eyes my own husband expresses his love for another...his little chocolate lover-his cell phone.

If I could be anything, I think I'd like to be Andy's phone. He always keeps the phone in the inside pouch of his fuzzy fleece jacket or safe in his pants pocket. Often, when we are driving home together from work, he holds the phone in his hand and slowly rolls it open and closed with his thumb. When he's thinking, he presses it to his lips and softly blows, creating a warm film on its face.

When we leave the house and he can't find the phone, he searches frantically for it. Once he has it tucked away, he reaches down in his pants to touch it over and over like an automatic, yet oddly erotic subconscious action of protection and concern.

When his little chocolate rings, he jumps to grab it, eager to see who is on the other end. His eyes light up when he hears the voice on the other end and as he holds the tiny plastic object close to his cheek he experiences a range of emotions, his voice rising and falling, his body pacing back and forth in a trance like state. The world could fall down around him as he talks. His child often tries to grab his legs, falls and screams while he's on the phone. He paces away from the cries, oblivious to anything but the phone. It's only once he's off the call that he returns to the world around him.

On very special occasions I witness a phone threesome. That's when Andy is talking on the cell phone and the home phone rings. The home phone is clunky and old and not nearly as perky and cute as the cell, yet it is occasionally allowed to join in and play in the talking game. I sit, dumbstruck, while Andy blabs on the cell phone and then asks the person on the other end to "wait a sec" while he answers the other phone. Then the person on the cell phone gets to wait and listen to Andy talk on the other phone. How kinky.

"Hi...yeah....ok...I um...yeah, yeah....hopefully....yeah, I mean, uh, sounds good....ok, ok, oh, hey, I've got somebody on the other phone...ok, ok...yeah, talk to you later."

I've tried to tell Andy that his incessant talking on the phone is rude. It's annoying to all the people around him who have to listen to his loud, half conversations and it's hurtful to me. Who is it that he is waiting to hear from that he has to have the phone nearby at all times? Am I so boring that he decides to let his dinner get cold while he paces back in forth in the bathroom, chattering away on that stupid little cell phone? What's next- placing it between us in bed at night on its own little pillow? I guess it could at least double as a night light.

What's the motto? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! He's on both phones right now. I'm going to grab my cell and call our house line. We have caller ID and call waiting. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll pick up the line and I can make the call a phone orgy!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Somebody Who Matters

At first glance, one may not think that my mom and I are alike. Moe is shy and reserved. She's calm and thoughtful. She's a good listener and keeps things to herself. She's grounded and sensible. She's practical. You may be laughing now if you know me. I'm loud and outspoken. I'm dramatic and irrational. I talk too much and share too much. My head is often in the clouds and I lack common sense. I 'm a dreamer. How did this kid come from that mom? Well, if you know me, you also know that my mom has had the greatest impact on me and that we are actually very much alike. For example, Moe isn't really shy or reserved. She's just waiting for the right time to tell you what she thinks and you're going to hear it whether or not you like it. She uses the F-bomb freely, and sometimes inappropriately. In her own right, she is a feminist. She's a loyal friend. She's the family organizer. She has a quirky sense of humor and knows not to take hersel...
Post a Comment
Read more

Reflections on Summer with the Girls

I've been thinking all week long about how to summarize my summer home with the girls. For me, one who is never short on words, I just can't quite figure out how to explain the last eight weeks.A poem, or two, perhaps? How quickly work fades/When two little faces smile./Can I stop time, please? A real summer here,/Made for easy days at lake./Everyone is tan. Three mile point love./Makes winters here easier./Beautiful upstate. Caro is a fish./Handstands, front crawl, doggy paddle./So proud of my girl. Char pees on the pot/sometimes but not every time./She gets candy, yay! Oh Canada trip./Thank you to Grams and Opa./Memories for life. Visits with Nana./Got in the lake, yes she did!/So proud of her, too! Days spent with good friends./Playing is so tiring./Let it never end. Me: stay at home mom./Borderline insanity./Hardest job ever. In trying to draft something for this post, I looked back at my posts from last year at this time and I felt relief. Well, first, ...
1 comment
Read more

Facebook Reality Check

I am a big facebook user. No, I don't play Farmville or Candy Crush Saga but I spend at least 15 minutes on the site daily. I have read many articles about how facebook kills one's self esteem because people use the site to boast and brag about their awesome lives, which in turn makes others feel badly about their own. We all know that facebook is a slice of one's life or maybe a projection of the life they want to live. Anybody who isn't a fool should realize that. As a frequent facebooker and hardcore extrovert, with a lack of a strong filter, I find this whole situation to be a dilemma. What is worse, reading about someone's awesome day and seeing a picture of how fabulous they looked during their awesome day, or reading about their terrible day, looking at angry political memes, or rants about the bad customer service they received? Do you want to read about how someone had the best night ever with their bestest buds (you not included) or that they have been ...
1 comment
Read more