Skip to main content

This is My Blog.

Mine. Ownership and possession are both powerful concepts in childhood development. I can't actually remember when Caroline started declaring objects to be of her possession but lately she spends much of her time informing me about which items in our house are hers. It's not just naming her surroundings: dolly, kitty, blankie. It's announcing personal possession over them. My dolly. My kitty. My blankie. This idea of ownership is already deeply rooted in her personality. She says "mine" with a sense of pride and with passion. Caroline clearly associates people, places and things with herself as well as her ability to care for, play with, don affection upon or just hoard them all in her stroller.

With this deep rooted sense of possession comes jealousy and paranoia. The cats are not to be trusted. When we cuddle in the morning and one of the cats jumps on the bed to greet us, Caroline quickly grabs her lovey and holds it close to her face. "MINE! MINE BEAN," she firmly warns. Friends are also not to be trusted. When we drop Caroline off at daycare, several children run over to get a hug from the newest adult in the room. "No, Eli. My mommy," again, Caroline warns, as she pushes the toddler off of my knee to make room just for her.

She'll go to great lengths to gain ownership of an object of desire, even if it was never hers to begin with. She's bitten and been bit. She's pushed down and been knocked over. She's pulled hair and had hers pulled in return. Mine! Mine! Mine! Only to play with the toy for a few minutes before the burning immediacy of ownership fades as she spies a child with another object to posses.

I'd like to say as an adult this powerful feeling goes away as we learn to master the art of sharing. I honestly believe it only gets worse. Some consider hoarding a mental illness. And we've all heard about people being killed over a pair of sneakers. If only I could go up to the woman flirting with my spouse at a party, knock her down, bite her arm and declare, "My HUSBAND!"

Or what about at work, when your boss mistakes your idea to be that of the annoying guy in the cubicle next to yours (who never seems to speak up and correct your boss)? Wouldn't it be great to stand on the meeting table, give the guy's hair a good tug and remind them all that the amazing idea was "MINE!"

We can only dream of acting out our possessive fantasies, for in reality, if we had stood on the table like a crazed ape, we would later be sitting in our boss' office, holding our packed box of personal belongings, being told we were being let go because we are not a team player, the adult phrase for the childhood term we've heard so many times before: that we can not share.


Popular posts from this blog

Me V. Parental Judgement

When you are pregnant, there’s so much to think about when considering the future: what color to paint the nursery, what decorating scheme to select from Pottery Barn, whether to go with disposable or reusable diapers, what to name your little nugget, and even deciding to use a cake or a box of balloons for the gender reveal party. You quickly learn that, if you share any of these decisions with anyone, you are bound to get opinions- lots of them. And, while this isn’t the first time we get solicited or unsolicited advice (where to go to college, what to choose as a major, what profession to pursue, who to date, who to marry, what dress to wear to the wedding, who to invite to the wedding, what type of alcohol to serve at the wedding..) the birth of a child seems like the first time that SO MANY opinions are given. It’s already a time of anxiety and unknowns that the opinions of others can easily feel overwhelming.What, I should have gotten the rocker that swings from side to side ins…

Work Family

Did you know that you spend around 90,360 hours at work during your lifetime? I usually only write about my job in the most vague terms but work is, and always has been, a really important and vital part of my life. A hundred years ago, when I left my first professional job, I remember it felt like somebody died. At the time, Andy, who, shockingly wasn't in touch with my emotions, asked me why I was felt this way. I told him I was so upset because I felt like I was leaving my family. I can still remember, clear as day, when I gave my resignation. I had just taken a ride in the Oscar Meyer wiener hot dog mobile (Yeah I know I had an awesome job) and I felt incredibly sick to my stomach. I went home that night and cried like somebody died. I remember Andy asking me why I was so upset and I wasn’t sure how to articulate it. Looking back now I better understand why I had such a visceral reaction to leaving my employer. I think part of it was because it was my first real job. I think …

Your Feedback Needed: My Business Venture!

I believe that I have an entrepreneurial spirit. Over the course of my adulthood I have come up with a number of exciting entrepreneurial ventures. From a scrapbooking B&B to a website dedicated to things that happen in the bathroom, I put my creative mind to use to come up with some pretty cool business ideas. Unfortunately, Andy, and everyone else in my life with whom I’ve shared these ideas, have told me that, while all of my ideas might be interesting, fascinating, or funny, they would never get off the ground or make any money. Since I’m rather adverse to risk, I respected their opinions and trusted their judgment. Yet, I just can’t help myself from coming up with more entrepreneurial concepts on any given day.  My most recent one likely would not produce any income, like all of my other ideas. However, I feel I need to share it because it truly aligns with my skill sets and strengths. I’m not afraid to be shut down so I’ll go ahead and share my idea with you and see what you…