You Know You've Had a Baby When

This post was inspired by my muffin top today.

YOU KNOW YOU'VE HAD A BABY WHEN:

10. Your pre-baby fat pants are now your post-baby skinny jeans.
9. You are searching through a mom friend's bathroom for a Tylenol and you spot a clear, plastic squirt bottle and you know exactly what it was used for.
8. You are psyched that your stomach muscles are strong enough again to suck in but in doing so your belly button disappears between two rolls which look a lot like a deflated balloon animal.
7. Hearing Johnny Cash's song "Ring of Fire" triggers PTSD.
6. Again, you can use the metaphor "deflated balloon" to describe several other parts of your body.
5. You've looked pain and fear square in the face, called it a mother f%^&*$r, told yourself, "Well! I'll never do THAT again!" and find yourself in a room with pain and fear 2, 3, or 4 years later.
4.(Unless you are a freak)Have somebody poop or pee on your chest and you're too overwhelmed to notice.
3. You see a birthing center nurse in the restroom at a local establishment and she puts her hand on your arm and asks, "How's your bottom?" and you reply, "It's great, thanks!"
2. You hear a baby screech in a restaurant and you turn to the person seated next to you and say, "Oh hearing that baby makes me feel like I'm having a let-down."

And the number one reason you know when you've had a baby....
1. At graduation, as your daughter walks across the stage, you let out a big sob and at the same time, pee a little bit in your pants.

Comments

Maria B. said…
That is hilarious, yet SO true! I can relate to every point! :)

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