That Crazy Person Running During the Polar Vortex Was Me.

People have been questioning my sanity this winter. I have chosen to continue running (and increase my mileage, to boot) regardless of the temperature or weather conditions. You can tell me all about how crazy I am or the potential harm that can come from my chosen winter activity. Thank you for your opinion but this is my blog so let me tell you why I am doing it.

I like the excitement of new sensations, like:

Hair freezing

Eyelashes freezing together

Wind whiplash

Exposing my naked bum to 0 degree weather while peeing behind a tree (Ok, so I totally don't even bother to go behind a tree. I pee on the side of the road.)

Being really sweaty, and then super cold, all at the same time

Frozen boogs

The burn of my fingers un-thawing after I'm done

The fear of seeing a snow plow up close and personal

The oyster-like feel of swallowing Gu

The odd warmness of coating your face in Vaseline.

The heavenliness of coffee post-run.

Here are some other general reasons why I like to run in the winter:

I like to be gross and when you run in the winter you have every right to be really gross. I can spit (or rather, spit all over myself), blow snot, and use my glove to both blow my nose and wipe after I pee.

There's nothing cooler than old-man shuffling up a "big hill", you know the kind that look like the road touches the clouds but in reality is just a little hill, and then looking back and feeling a sense of accomplishment that you just ran up a hill.

Drinking an orange slushy Gatorade you pulled from a snowbank, after running for 2 1/2 hours in 10 degree weather, feels kinda like winning the lottery, the Super Bowl, and Miss America all at the same time.

The quiet. Well, when I'm not talking to my running buddy.

Running in snow is like running in sand on the beach. Minus the snow, and cold, and pavement.

Wearing neon is so cool.

I burn extra calories while fighting my scarf that is trying to strangle me and while struggling to put my sweaty gloves back on after taking them off. (That was before I decided to keep them on while peeing.)

My body is mostly numb after a winter run, making an ice bath much easier.

There are fewer cars on the road.

When you see another runner you nod, acknowledging your mutual badassness.

And, finally...

Because I can. Because I don't need to stay home to nurse any babies or change any diapers. Because Andy can handle watching them for more than 10 minutes (by way of ipads and television). Because I am healthy and strong. Because I live in upstate and I am sick of complaining all winter about how cold it is and how we are going crazy being stuck inside. Because I feel like Rocky climbing the museums steps. Because I like the feeling of setting a goal and nobody stopping me from accomplishing it and nobody else caring whether or not I accomplish it.

Oh yeah, and because my running partner makes me. I bitch the whole time about how cold it is, how hilly it is, and how windy it is, but I have found, over the last few months, I really am starting to enjoy it.


Popular posts from this blog

I Love Otsego but I Love Andy More

Our Teen Marriage

Mrs Cooperstown