A Mom's Life

Why do all baby toys talk? When Caroline was a newborn, her vibrating chair had a little attachment with a lion and a parrot that lit up and sang songs when she pulled on the plastic figures. As she pulled and cooed, we'd find ourselves humming the tunes while cooking, doing laundry or even at work during a meeting. "Birds fly high and low...you can do it too!" would be in our heads at all times of the day. When she outgrew the chair, it was then the farmer's tractor. Now this one was in my head in my sleep or better yet, during relaxation time in yoga class. Breathe deep. Clear your mind. "Old McDonald, THAT'S ME!" Clear your mind. Breathe. " EIEIOHH !" My dad gave Caroline a LEAP Frog baby Tad for Christmas. Tad is special. The stuffed buddy is Caroline's new androgynous friend. Tad, who is marketed as neither male nor female, has lots of shapes on his/her chest to hit and that light up and play songs. Tad sings old favorites like Hicko...

I'm not going to call it anything nicer than what it is. Puke. Projectiling on the carpet, the pets, your hair. We were lucky to miss out on scary infant vomiting illness but our luck ran out Thursday night. It was another Norman Rockwell evening at our house. The family was lying on the bed, the pets curled up next to us. We'd turned the light off and Andy was nearly asleep when I laid Caroline in his arms for a last hug. As I picked her up I noticed her belly gurgled and it wasn't a moment later that it hit me. Chunks of stinky, milky vomit all over me and the carpet. Dingo retreated as it splashed her tail and back. I was proud of my and Andy's quick reaction to the the clean-up of the rug and room and the ensuing second bath, third crib sheet change and acceptance that the one puke chunk was just going to stay in her hair for the night. We thought it was a fluke the next morning since she was fine but it returned again the following night. That time I ca...

She carries things in her mouth. She follows us around the house. She gets into the toilet paper, unravels it and eats it. She does tricks on command. No, it's not our dog. It's our baby, Caroline! Sure, she was fun as a newborn when we were thoroughly entertained to watch her sleep in her bassinet. We continued to be amused and delighted as she learned to sit up and hold her own bottle. The fun has really begun the past few months as it seems she learns something new by the day. Better than any TV show, Caroline is the highlight around the house. There is nothing better than sharing her latest trick with Andy from waving good bye to mimicking "All done!" after she's finished her bottle. You might have thought from our reaction that Caroline won the Nobel Prize when she (finally) picked up the sippy cup and took a swig of juice. We cheered and clapped with glee and she in turn giggled and clapped, perhaps proud of her own accomplishment or more astutely...

Over Thanksgiving, Andy, Caroline and I visited some old friends of the family, a mother and daughter and her husband. I've known them since childhood when I would stay over at their place and play with a special box of paper dolls that were just for me. That was many years ago, but we try to stay in touch, although it had been over a year since I'd seen them. The daughter has been married for around 7 or 8 years. The couple has two elementary-aged children, a dog and they all live in a crazy, bustling house in the middle of a renovation enabling the mother to live with them. The daughter is a stay-at-home mom who babysits everybody else's kids and her husband works as a mechanic. Now, a few things to keep in mind. This couple is about 10 years older than me and Andy and most of my relationship with them has been from a kid's perspective. We've fallen out of touch over the past five years, but maintain a connection because of our history and because they are li...

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."-- Elizabeth Stone My friend once said that she'd rather jump in front of a bus than have a child. I would jump in front of a bus for my child. When I was about five months pregnant I told Andy I loved the baby more than him. Of course, I love Andy so much and can not imagine life without him but the love I had for the life we created was the most intense feeling to experience. I hadn't even met her yet, and I could not imagine my life without this baby. From the moment you find out you're pregnant, everything you do is for the baby. The baby is with you wherever you go and sleeps and grows to your every movement and to the sound of your voice. Someone told me a baby automatically loves her mother's voice. That's nice for me since my voice is high and often, irritating to others. When Caroline was first born, t...

The president of my fan club-my mother- told me that the other members of the fan club- her coworkers whom she forces to read this blog-said my musings are on the mean side. I'm sorry to hear this and sorry to let the fans down when I inform them that I will continue to offer the same sarcastic humor every week, centered on the shortcomings of the man I live with. Don't tell anybody, but when no one is looking, I am sometimes nice to Andy. I may even hold his hand or rub his back when the curtains are closed or it's really dark outside. Since it's Thanksgiving this week, I thought I'd take the time to tell you about this softer side and share just how lucky I am. Andy is really smart; almost as smart as me! He's a wonderful writer, has great ideas and I'm really proud of his professional accomplishments. Whenever I meet someone, they ask me if I am married to Andrew. He is also really cute; lucky me. My mom started the idea that he looks like Ben Afflec...

Shortly after Caroline was born I started to hate Andy. I despised him and his lack of understanding me and how tired and overworked I was. The poor guy said little during this time and quietly rode the emotion rollercoaster in the same bucket as me, holding my hand as I'd cry and rant about one dramatic issue or another, always culminating in me deciding we needed to get a divorce. A friend (ok, a therapist) recommended Andy andI take a quiz about aspects of our relationship. The quiz was fun and silly and reminded both of us that we really are in love and have a great deal in common. The last question asked us to list our top five priorities. One through four were all the same-family, health, financial stability and career. The fifth was different and telling about who we are. My fifth priority is time to myself. His is civic engagement. Ah- civic engagement. How I love those whose life's work is to help others. While I tuck Caroline in at night and then eat a slice...

The great thing about men is that they can surprise you. Today was going to be productive. I went to bed last night with dreams of emails, meetings and check marks on the to-do-list dancing around my head. I would do it all and prove to myself that I can offer the same quality and caliber of work part-time as I once offered in my years of 40 hour work weeks. Before I even had my coat off at work I noticed the message light blinking on my phone. I diligently wrote the jist of the message in shorthand: daycare-Caroline-vomit-must leave immediately. Panic sets in as I scramble to get the details of the vomiting incident, convince daycare that it's ok to keep her there for an hour or so and run around the office trying to figure out how I can get my day's work done in 15 minutes. I try Andy's cell phone 3 or 4 times. He's in a meeting all morning and turned it off. What good would it do to reach him anyway? He'd just tell me to suck it up and go home. I call a friend wh...

I don't agree with women who say they don't want to have a baby because it will "ruin their body." With that said, I have yet to lose the last ten pounds of baby weight I packed on during my pregnancy. I haven't dropped a pound since February. As I drag my butt to the gym and painfully jog 1.5 miles on the treadmill, I think back to the days when I got up at 6 am and ran 6-7 miles around town before even starting my work day. Lately, my morning exercise is running around the house, putting Caroline's clothes on limb by limb. She thinks it's a game and she giggles, one arm in onsie, one out, as I chase her down the hall, pants and socks in hand. After 15 minutes, I manage to get her fully dressed. Back to that treadmill. I have managed to negotiate an hour one evening a week to go to the gym and attempt to do something to the flour sack attached to my waist. This Monday, I got home at 5:30 and quickly fed the pets and changed my clothes and almost as...