Skip to main content

Puking

I'm not going to call it anything nicer than what it is. Puke. Projectiling on the carpet, the pets, your hair. We were lucky to miss out on scary infant vomiting illness but our luck ran out Thursday night. It was another Norman Rockwell evening at our house. The family was lying on the bed, the pets curled up next to us. We'd turned the light off and Andy was nearly asleep when I laid Caroline in his arms for a last hug. As I picked her up I noticed her belly gurgled and it wasn't a moment later that it hit me. Chunks of stinky, milky vomit all over me and the carpet. Dingo retreated as it splashed her tail and back.

I was proud of my and Andy's quick reaction to the the clean-up of the rug and room and the ensuing second bath, third crib sheet change and acceptance that the one puke chunk was just going to stay in her hair for the night.

We thought it was a fluke the next morning since she was fine but it returned again the following night. That time I caught it in mind hand! I was getting smarter! Andy and I continued to tell ourselves it was the bananas we'd fed her both nights. What fools we were. How can a parent think she herself is not going to get sick when she's worn vomit two night in a row? No- not vomit. Puke. Chunky, stinky puke in my hair, on my clothes and under my fingernails.

It recycled though the family yesterday and last night like a tsunami. At least I am a big girl and can projectile into the toilet (or the sink or a cup) and not on the floor and dog.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When The Team Won't Follow the Leader

I am aware that there are some critics out there who think that Andy and I are kind of loosey-goosey parents. Some think we don’t have enough rules or enough structure or discipline in our family. I’ve always felt really bad about this because, from one perspective, I can sort of see what they are talking about. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel guilty about being a shitty parent. My thoughts before passing out each night, exhausted, are about how I could’ve done a better job today and that I really hope I can do a better job the next day. Tomorrow is a new day to make rules and implement them, right? But I finally figured out what the missing link is for me and Andy and why we just can’t be the structured, rigid, disciplinarians that we “aspire“ to be. The other day I was picking up the kids. When we were driving home, my mind was racing with about 50 different things I needed to do at home and at work. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t really present in the moment with the kids even thoug...

Charlotte's Story

What can you do in seventeen minutes? Watch an episode of your favorite sitcom without commercials? Run two miles at a good clip? Eat a meal, or in Andy's case, microwave a meal and then eat it? Have a baby? Because that's what I did. You heard me right. I birthed a baby in seventeen minutes because I am a machine. I am a machine ! I am a baby birthing woman of steel. I am not much of a bragger and you may recall that I was never good and never bad at anything. I have no particular achievements to tout, academically, physically, professionally or otherwise except baby birthing. I'm really good at this and I'm pretty darn proud of it and I'd like to brag about it to you now. This is Charlotte's birth story. For the first four or five months of my pregnancy with Charlotte, most people forgot that I was even pregnant. This does happen to you with multiple pregnancies. I never forgot that I was pregnant. Morning sickness heart burn and frequent bathroom t...

The Perennial

Turning 40 is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I’m talking somebody standing at the top of the Empire State building with a wheelbarrow of bricks that they throw on top of me as I stand on the street. Every brick that catapults toward me has a different message: Your hair is getting gray. Your eyebrows are thinning. The skin on your neck and elbows is getting soft. Your hands are wrinkly. Your midsection is getting softer and rounder. You wear progressive glasses. You wake up and go to bed really early. You talk about things like vitamins and retirement. Your back hurts when you get out of bed and when you stand too long or when you sit too long. You think about taking Metamucil or Fiber One to keep you regular. You have one glass of wine and feel hung over the next day. Your kids talk about buying bras and getting their period. You should have stood up straight as a kid because now your neck and back are stuck in this awkward, turtle-like position, and it...