Skip to main content

My Solemn Vow

I've always been proud of my youthful appearance. When I first moved to Cooperstown (age 22) I was enraged that a gym employee told me since I was under 16 I couldn't be in the locker room without my mom. I chuckle to myself when college girls size me up on the treadmill as their competition for the muscle head grunting in the corner. Just last week a student at the college asked me for my dorm swipe card as I went for a quick lunchtime stroll. And, the best of all: I'm still carded at the liquor store.

I turn 30 this year and I'm not upset about it. No bizzar-o mid-life crisis for me when I'll decide to stop wearing underwear, sport super tight tops and stay out drinking after work trying to make out with desperate co-workers. I'm positive my 30s will be much better than my 20s. No more painful realizations that health insurance isn't a guarantee. No more owning a car without collision insurance and getting in an accident. Good bye first college loan repayment, first day on the first job and even first night home with a new baby. I'm an expert in such matters now, a real seasoned vet when it comes to paying back debt, accepting the 9-5 grind and dealing with a day after only 2 hours of sleep.

My almost-30s are presenting me with all new firsts. Scary firsts, actually, hinting at signs of my age. Last week I hurt my hip jumping out of a van. Hooray- my first hip injury! I tried to pull myself up yesterday using my left hand and hurt my wrist. I had to ask a student to help me read a street sign because, once again, my contact/glasses prescription has increased.

And the worst first: Shopping at old lady stores. H&M clothes these days are a little too small and my butt crack hangs out of the top of all their pants. Days of shopping at Charlotte Russe, aka the Professional Ho, are a sepia-tinted memory as I now peruse the racks of Coldwater Creek and Ann Taylor.

What other firsts will I experience in my 30s? First mini van? First mammogram? It's all so exciting! And what lasts are behind me before I even knew it was a "last"? Last up-all-night party, last college discount opportunity, last time I'll be a size 2.

I solemnly vow: As I enter each decade of my life I will embrace each of its firsts with the same level of pride as I once felt toward doing something new in my 20s, and knowing with age and maturity that each first could also be my last.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Me V. Parental Judgement

When you are pregnant, there’s so much to think about when considering the future: what color to paint the nursery, what decorating scheme to select from Pottery Barn, whether to go with disposable or reusable diapers, what to name your little nugget, and even deciding to use a cake or a box of balloons for the gender reveal party. You quickly learn that, if you share any of these decisions with anyone, you are bound to get opinions- lots of them. And, while this isn’t the first time we get solicited or unsolicited advice (where to go to college, what to choose as a major, what profession to pursue, who to date, who to marry, what dress to wear to the wedding, who to invite to the wedding, what type of alcohol to serve at the wedding..) the birth of a child seems like the first time that SO MANY opinions are given. It’s already a time of anxiety and unknowns that the opinions of others can easily feel overwhelming.What, I should have gotten the rocker that swings from side to side ins…

Holiday Letters- in Two Versions!

I don’t know about you but I love a good holiday letter. Nothing sends me into a tailspin of self doubt and depression like reading the carefully crafted story of the highs and accomplishments of those in my life. As the letters flow in, alongside the photos of the beautiful smiling faces of my loved ones, I curl up under a warm blanket, look out at the bleak, gray winter skies and think: what the fu#k is wrong with me?We are so fortunate, due to modern technological advances, to be able to experience this self doubt an average of 20-50 times per day as we addictively scroll a variety of social media channels. Yet nothing truly confirms our own personal inadequacies like a yearly summary of others’ successes and happiness neatly packed in an 8 1/2 X 11 sheet of paper, folded in thirds and slipped into an envelope alongside a card collage of beach shots, matching sweaters and smiling, happy faces. I, too, have sent along such letters to accompany our smiling happy faces, providing thos…

Work Family

Did you know that you spend around 90,360 hours at work during your lifetime? I usually only write about my job in the most vague terms but work is, and always has been, a really important and vital part of my life. A hundred years ago, when I left my first professional job, I remember it felt like somebody died. At the time, Andy, who, shockingly wasn't in touch with my emotions, asked me why I was felt this way. I told him I was so upset because I felt like I was leaving my family. I can still remember, clear as day, when I gave my resignation. I had just taken a ride in the Oscar Meyer wiener hot dog mobile (Yeah I know I had an awesome job) and I felt incredibly sick to my stomach. I went home that night and cried like somebody died. I remember Andy asking me why I was so upset and I wasn’t sure how to articulate it. Looking back now I better understand why I had such a visceral reaction to leaving my employer. I think part of it was because it was my first real job. I think …