Skip to main content

The guilt epidemic

Women are wonderful at time management and I've been told I'm tenacious about time-on-task and follow-through. Parenthood has really put a damper on my ability to follow a rigid schedule that enables me to do everything. When morning sickness showed up at week 5, I hung up my a.m. workout sneakers. Those shoes continue to collect dust although I'm proud to say they are dusted off once a week for 30 minutes. Just getting to the gym for that short amount of time has been a major accomplishment in a world full of parent-guilt.

Guilt. A feeling traditionally reserved for Catholics has been spreading into the female parent population for the past fifty years and has become increasingly prevalent over the last decade. Lucky me to be raised Catholic, born a woman and now gifted with parenthood. I had a .01% chance of escaping the guilt-disease.

I have "attacks" or "flare ups" when I decide to do something for myself. In addition to going to the gym once week, flare ups occur on my day off when I clean the house and go grocery shopping, the rare occassion that Andy gets up in the morning (5 minutes) before me and everyday I drop Caroline off at daycare and go to work. I'm near hospitalization if say, I decide to have lunch with a friend on my day off or, heaven-forbid, I buy myself an article of clothing.

The guilt comes on very quickly and my reaction to it has a ripple effect on the entire family. I am forced to confess my guilt to Andy and then mope around for the rest of the day sighing loudly. Sometimes the only remedy is to yell loudly at Andy and threaten to donate all of his personal belongings to the local charity or walk around the house grabbing my belly and muttering "fat". Interestingly, another term commonly used for mommy-guilt can be found on my favorite hypochondriac's website webmd: "martyr".

Now I get it, Mother Teresa!

Comments

Devra said…
How about some good ole absolution from a couple of nice Jewish girls? ; )

You are not alone in the guilt (nor in the yelling that is actually the numero uno guilt inducer for thousands of moms!)

Not here to spam you with buying our book, it's in most public libraries, just wanted to let you know we're around if you need some tools to cope with the guilt and cut down on the yelling so you feel less torment and more enjoyment in the parent hood.
Blogger said…
Claim FREE bitcoins at Easy Bitcoin. Up to 33 satoshis every 10 minutes.
Blogger said…
Did you think about picking the most recommended Bitcoin exchange service - YoBit.

Popular posts from this blog

Me V. Parental Judgement

When you are pregnant, there’s so much to think about when considering the future: what color to paint the nursery, what decorating scheme to select from Pottery Barn, whether to go with disposable or reusable diapers, what to name your little nugget, and even deciding to use a cake or a box of balloons for the gender reveal party. You quickly learn that, if you share any of these decisions with anyone, you are bound to get opinions- lots of them. And, while this isn’t the first time we get solicited or unsolicited advice (where to go to college, what to choose as a major, what profession to pursue, who to date, who to marry, what dress to wear to the wedding, who to invite to the wedding, what type of alcohol to serve at the wedding..) the birth of a child seems like the first time that SO MANY opinions are given. It’s already a time of anxiety and unknowns that the opinions of others can easily feel overwhelming.What, I should have gotten the rocker that swings from side to side ins…

Holiday Letters- in Two Versions!

I don’t know about you but I love a good holiday letter. Nothing sends me into a tailspin of self doubt and depression like reading the carefully crafted story of the highs and accomplishments of those in my life. As the letters flow in, alongside the photos of the beautiful smiling faces of my loved ones, I curl up under a warm blanket, look out at the bleak, gray winter skies and think: what the fu#k is wrong with me?We are so fortunate, due to modern technological advances, to be able to experience this self doubt an average of 20-50 times per day as we addictively scroll a variety of social media channels. Yet nothing truly confirms our own personal inadequacies like a yearly summary of others’ successes and happiness neatly packed in an 8 1/2 X 11 sheet of paper, folded in thirds and slipped into an envelope alongside a card collage of beach shots, matching sweaters and smiling, happy faces. I, too, have sent along such letters to accompany our smiling happy faces, providing thos…

Work Family

Did you know that you spend around 90,360 hours at work during your lifetime? I usually only write about my job in the most vague terms but work is, and always has been, a really important and vital part of my life. A hundred years ago, when I left my first professional job, I remember it felt like somebody died. At the time, Andy, who, shockingly wasn't in touch with my emotions, asked me why I was felt this way. I told him I was so upset because I felt like I was leaving my family. I can still remember, clear as day, when I gave my resignation. I had just taken a ride in the Oscar Meyer wiener hot dog mobile (Yeah I know I had an awesome job) and I felt incredibly sick to my stomach. I went home that night and cried like somebody died. I remember Andy asking me why I was so upset and I wasn’t sure how to articulate it. Looking back now I better understand why I had such a visceral reaction to leaving my employer. I think part of it was because it was my first real job. I think …