Skip to main content

Settling for Motherhood

I'm not embarrassed to admit that I don't make a lot of money. My salary has actually decreased since I graduated with my M.A. No worries, though. I spent most of my twenties feeling bad about, complaining about it, and feeling like the man had done me wrong. Now that I'm in my wiser thirties I have stopped the bitching and moaning and have accepted my salary and place on the professional totem pole.
Recently, my equally wise colleague said her teenage son told her she has settled. Her position as a part-time career advisor and full-time wife, mom and carpool lady just doesn't cut it in the eyes of her aspiring musician/comedian son. Ten years ago, I would have supported the kid by guffawing at any woman who chose wifely duties over a competitive career and all the fame and fortune that accompanies a high profile position. I've wanted to be a number of things when I grew up: lawyer, interior designer, flight attendant, Peace Corp volunteer, historian, museum director, international woman of mystery and a writer living in an historic house with a John Deere tractor, in a gorgeous New England town. No matter the professional scenario, no man or child were in the picture, just me and maybe a cat.
When I finally chose to aggressively pursue a career path, it only took a few years to become tainted and realize the rise to success was going to be a lot harder than I'd planned. And a lot less fulfilling. It's lonely on the bottom if all you think about is the top.
Having Caroline actually freed me from the man's chains. I don't think of motherhood and wifely duties as an excuse to escape from the grind. I consider my present roles to be an open door, that once walked through, presented me with a whole new set of goals and aspirations. It's been refreshing to stop worrying about promotions and focus my attention on being a good mom with a clean house. I'm low on the totem pole at work but I actually enjoy what I do because I'm not looking over my shoulder to see who's noticing how great I am. If I have a bad day at work I get to go home and get lots of love from my daughter, who doesn't care that I'm just a "coordinator" because at home, being a coordinator is a very important role. Somebody's got to figure out how to get us all dressed in clean clothes and fed each day and I'm glad that person is me.
So, did I settle for this life? Heck no! I chose it and I love it, although I am still working on getting the historic house and tractor and I'm waiting for this blog to turn into that killer book deal.

Comments

GuppyArt2 said…
I think you laid it out quite well. Believe in your motherhood, all really is possible.
April 6, 2009 at 10:06 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TomKat or AndMel?

Over the weekend I had "my hour". Sixty whole minutes at the gym including 30 on the new treadmill and the latest In Style magazine to read while I sweat it out to my itunes. I happily flipped and thumped along, checking out the latest hand bags and arm cuffs until I got to an article about Katie Holmes. I had to flip back and forth several times to admire one of my favorite Hollywood pieces of eye candy. How can she and I have children almost the same age and she can look like that and have run a marathon this year? No matter what we all tell ourselves about celebs, we still envy them or just can't help but stare at their image in a magazine and read all about how they've found themselves via religion, rehab or marriage to Tom Cruise. My favorite part of the article was Katie recalling Suri's birth story. She says something about how supportive Tom was by placing candles and picture frames around the room. That's helpful? If Andy was lighting candles during ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Spoiler Alert!

It's no big shock that I opened my mouth and got myself in trouble earlier this week. This time it was my virtual mouth, and we all know that can be the worst. Saying something stupid, online, is like spreading a highly contagious virus. Speaking of which, with all of my recent coughing and sneezing, I've been really good at spreading a germy virus around. I teach students to be social media savvy, and gosh darn it, I did so as recent as yesterday. I provide them with some rules to protect them from looking like a virtual ass, but low and behold, I fall victim to assiness every once in a while. How am I supposed to know every single rule in life, and particularly online? I'm just a simple human being, with a big mouth, who wants to over share! So, here's what went down, if you didn't get pissy pants over my FB faux pas. I watched the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead on Sunday night. Andy was in the can and I just needed to talk about the episode. I needed t...
2 comments
Read more

LAX

Some people may think that Andy and I are "lax" parents. Our house isn't a free range farm by any means, although just throwing food on the ground, and letting the kids wander around and pick it up when they are hungry, sounds pretty enticing. It's true that we aren't the strictest parents and that, regularly, there is mutiny on the bounty and we are held hostage by little pirate people. The drill sergeant in our house is 3 feet tall and belts outs commands like, "Get me a drink!", "Turn on Netflix!", or "You will not wash my hair!" while wearing only a pullup, squinting her eyes, and pointing an accusatory finger in our direction. Our kids are often in charge. I'm not going to lie to you. The dog may also be in charge from time to time. That's just the way it goes. As more and more of our peers have a third child, we are, unfortunately, asked if we, too, plan to expand. Are these people insane in the membrane? Have they been...
2 comments
Read more